Holiday.

<3

" I understand feeling as small and as insignificant as humanly possible. And how it can actually ache in places you didn't know you had inside you. And it doesn't matter how many new haircuts you get, or gyms you join, or how many glasses of chardonnay you drink with your girlfriends... you still go to bed every night going over every detail and wonder what you did wrong or how you could have misunderstood. And how in the hell for that brief moment you could think that you were that happy. And sometimes you can even convince yourself that he'll see the light and show up at your door. And after all that, however long all that may be, you'll go somewhere new. And you'll meet people who make you feel worthwhile again. And little pieces of your soul will finally come back. And all that fuzzy stuff, those years of your life that you wasted, that will eventually begin to fade. "


Because you're hoping you're wrong. And every time she does something that tells you she's no good, you ignore it. And every time she comes through and suprises you, she wins you over, and you lose that argument with yourself, that she's not for you.

19 years..

Wow, I havent blog in SO long. quick update. Starting of the beginning of May, Yupp. I started dancing again <3. I needed too. I had to. my parents know. and they were okay with it! cus i didnt wanna be away from it anymore. :] FIRST dance was JayChris & Jesse's piece. oh MAN, bucking. thats wsup. hahah, yeah it still hurts here and there. but the pain doesnt phase me. i just need a little quick massage after... haha well.. anyways. PT, havent gone for a month! but now im back. NO MORE Water shit anymore, hated that. now its more workouts. but other than that, everything is GOOD, DOne with school. thank the lord, NO More freshman. :] WHOO!

& LA was crackin. i miss it, miss LA crew, shout out to you guys!

now... the reason why i'm writing this blog is because.. its my PRINCESS WEEK! aka my birthday week! what is princess week? mm. well in our family household. if your birthday is coming up, you have one week before your birthday to be SUPER Lazy and not do anything around the house [even tho we do that all the time] but no excuses! they cant say NO to anything what you want them to do! YUPP, my family is crackin. love them. hahah.

but ionno, the accident man, of course, its never gonna leave my thought, so this birthdayyear i wanted it to be REALLY special. yanno, FIRST off, its my LAST year being a TEENAGER, & Youre only a KID ONCE. & its like. I could of not celebrate this birthday, yanno what im saying. & i just really wanna spend it with everyone i love, thats why on sunday, it is VERY important to me. even tho its Prophecy nights, its my birthday! a day, where i can say Ive been living for 19 years. & not everyone can say they live through this point, especially if they were in my situation. alot of young people pass away, and i could of been one of those young people & IM super blessed that my 19 is coming up! at first, i didnt wanna celebrate [emo of course] but, i realized this day if very very very important to me. Thats why PROPHECY NIGHTS & MY birthday became one.

Have you ever thought if you never had a second chance in life? WHAT IF that accident was really worse. & My family would be at my grave on sunday. Thoughts like that gets me hella sad, thats why Im REALLY excited for my birthday. TRULY BLESSED. Pray for me on sunday & i'll pray for you. Thats all I need to say.

I miss my transformer :[ I was watching Transformer the other day, & it made me sad. Yes, my car I called it a transformer because one day i Randomly saw the transformer sign on my car but it wasn't visible, i saw it through the sunlight <3, and Ever since then it was my transformer. Bumble Bee took care of Shia & mines took care of me <3. i DO miss that car. sigggh.

But other than that, I still hear people talk shit about me, BUT THATS COO. Because of the Situation I was In with Chad. It's fine people gotta talk shit, but if you were in MY situation, you would understand. If you got something to say, DONT say it to other people because damnright it's gonna come straight to me, so If you dont want ME knowing, keep it to yourself.

I think thats it? YUPPPP. GOOD BYE.

Thanks for reading my blogs <3
Hi meow :]

Love always,
-Jemma