4/3 days left.

So didnt write in my blog yesterday. But yesterday was just a -_____- day.

First, woke up. went to sanpablo, and just CHILLED infront of century theatre for 6 hours. for the Boys. but it didn't happened.
& then after went to the PYC thing. it was coool..

3 Days left, Jeanie is coming with me to the hospital =) yesssss!

But other than that, dont feel like writing.

5 More days!

Well The 40 days started for Lent. I Remember when my countdown was 40 days, i hella just kept thinking "Mann, its just like Lent, i gave up dancing and walking for lent" hahah, So 5 more days. Soon Soon =) SO excited. I dont know what to expect, Well I know walking, but I dont know what their gonna tell me, if I can wear another shoe or wear another cast for me to walk on. Yanno! whatevs, its coming! =) and im SO excited.

Gave up for Lent.
- Shopping
- Stop being abussive =D
- Surfing the internet during class (because i do that, ALOT!)
- Fast food, kinda.

So, Yesterday it was just me and my mother that went to church together, and it was pretty interesting. My dad had to stay after work, my sister was stuck in sac and my brother isn't catholic. So when we went to church, we were talking about boys and relationship. And it's weird, I dont ususally talk to my mom about that, Only with my Sister ... and my dad. haha weird? i know. But anyways. I can say, me and my mom are on a whole another level. So anyways, after church, we went to eat at OLIVE GARDEN (yumm, btw, someone finished my alfreado this morning, WHO ATE IT!?) anyways. yeah, we were just talking, and i felt like I wasnt even having dinner with my mom. Because she was acting like a freakin teenager. IDK how to explain, but she was. & then I told her that she should read this blog, since my cousin reads this too, (WSUP KUYA BONG!) hahah, but she was asking us WHY me and my sister do this. & I told her, jaz writes about her life. & i write about my accident. & i remember her asking me if i do during BREAK. hahah and i told her straight up that i do SOME of it during class time.

So after we were leaving, we had the CUTEST server. haha shout out to him too! haha but after, I didnt say anything about him being cute to my mom, but after we got in the car, she was like, THAT WAS A CUTE BOY. and i was like OMG. you totally read my mind! hahah

and then I told her about the Filipino lady too, and my mom was asking If i had school on friday, and I told her I didnt. And she was saying that she wanted to go over there and show her wsuppp. and I told her my plan about buying the black lady that i'm gonna buy her starbucks and put it that ladies face and be like BOOOYA! and my mom was like Goodjob, do that. =) hahah

I realized that I AM both my Mom and Dad. hahah can't believe it. But it was fun having dinner just with her. and my dad didnt wanna go because he didnt want to pay for dinner. haha :) ohhhh daddy.

well 5 MORE DAYS ! =) The day will come soon, its going by quick already. Well thats all for now!

Thanks for reading my blogs <3

6 more days..

My last Wednesday using crutches at school! Finalllly... When I was walking up the hill all I kept thinking about was finally... This day is coming. I saw the Filipino lady today and I just rolled my eyes at her! Bitchass. Anyways. Well let's see. I get to go home early for once. Usually I'm in the lab or at marcs house... Poo. It's okay ..

So me and my dad were talking this morning and he was asking me how many days I have left.. And I was like 6 .. And he was like that means I'm never gonna see you around the house anymore .. And when he said that I was like Mann... Maybe that's a reason why this happened was because I need to spend time with my parents more... I feel like when I start walking and working. I really do want to take them out for dinner. Yanno. Just to show them how thankful I am.. Well what else ..

During class, we had to present our flowchart for the website were designing.. And when it was my turn .. He told me that I could sit down. But I didn't want to.. Dan asked how Long I was like this for .. And I told him 4 months. And he was like that sounds like. Really long time. And that's when all the questions from everyone came in. Even my partner asked me wsup. Haha so basically at the end I asked everyone if everyone had any more questions about my car accident and everyone just laughed it off and then I started my presentation.


Recently I've been thinking about the couple who stopped and help me when they were on the freeway. But Jazmin didn't have the number. So I have to get it from her when she gets home.. I mean I always pray for them, I mean who really stops when you see a car accident. I mean how many times have you seen a accident and didn't stop to see how you're okay.. They paused what they were doing just to see if I was okay .. And there was Hella traffic that day and all I saw was people just starin at me with their mouth Hella opened. So they were on my mind too. Just to do something for them... Yanno.

The day gets closer .. And I can't and think what's gonna happen after this .. I waited for so long and what can I do now ... I know I have to be careful when I start dancing again. But it also means, back to reality. Where I had to work and do everything for myself. No more favors and everything ... But it's fine .. I think I rather have that then can't doing nothing at all...

Thanks for reading my blogs! =)

6 more days ....

Stupid School

SO. When I wrote my 7 Days Blog, I was on Bart. Because I felt like writing alot!
But this is for ALL the people helped me. and who hasnt.

So Thank you for all the people who gave up their seat for me on Bart, Who opened doors for me & Everything else.

NOW. If you didn't know, I go to Academy of Art . & There are always these 2 ladies in the front desk. Theres a black lady & a Filipino lady. So the Black lady always opened the door for me and made sure I got to class safe. and NOW the filipino lady -___-.
OMG. There was no one there, and so i opened my door for myself & I was pulling the door open. And what was SHE doing. she was just STARIN AT ME DOWN! i'm like WTF, are you not gonna help!? All she said was.. "you know you can push the door, laughing" LIKE NIGGGA. WTF, I THOUGHT THIS WAS YOUR FUCKING JOB ! to HELP student. I got hella mad, i was like WTF? and the black lady was occupied! So she couldn't Help me.

she a dumb hoe now forever in my eyes. for all you AAU student, I hope you know who i'm talking about. Whatevs.

Angry. -___-

7DAYS.

Have you ever wanna kill yourself when you hear that saying "7days". Hate that movie! Well anyways I'm on Bart right now writing to you all. Well let's see. Me and good friend were on the phone last night and he got me thinking that my past 3 months has been crazy!! I can't believe the day I'v been waiting for is coming! 7 more days =) yesss...

So I decide to do a list of everything I had to do In the past !

-I had to get stomach shots on my stomach everyday so I wouldn't get blood cloths. I cried all the time.
-I saw 2 people die when I was in the ER
-I had 8 guys help me on the scene,alovely couple & 2 cars coming in
-hate the police,they laughed at me when they saw me
-I got transfer twice and it cost about 5,000 dollars
-I was in the ER with my sister for about almost a day
-my brother and sister kept taking pictures of me when I was in pain
-I always threw up after I got medicine
-Ryan was also with me the rest of the time,cleaning me up. Thanks ry.
-my best friends drove from San pablo and Hayward just to go see me that day
- I was suppose to go to a warriors game that day
-I woke up every two hours for the past month.
-I hellllllla cried before surgery
-I still have bruises from the accident
-I got to wear jeans 2 months later
-2 days after I got out of the hospital I got my hair done
-my guy best friend blew me a kiss infront of my family! (they thought he was my boyfriend)
-I was only alone ONCE in the hospital room
-I slept most of they day of the surgery
-they said my surgery was gonna be 2 1/2 hours long when it took 4 1/2
-the picture you see of me smiling was after my sister found my phone in the car (hense I'm holding my phone in my hand) oh and she brought my laptop!
-hospital foood is Hella grosss
-I had clear liquid foods for 2days straight
-the most people I had in my room were about 25. All at once
-taking a shower was heaven. I was in there for almost an hour just chillen.
-first time going out was with Arielle=) to arwyns goodbye party
-I still have clothes and shoes I haven't worn yet cus I wanted to wait after I started walking
-I was stressin alot about school
-I was emo 7/10 during this whole experience
- I was in bed most of the time
- myspace. Facebook And aim can really take up a whole day
-UsA channel was on 24/7
-I got shots 5 shots at least once aday
-my cast was humungo!
-I had to wear shorts on the coldest day
-Dom pushed me aroundthe mall during break
-I.Never gotto eat the food everyone got me.
-I still have all the flowers gave me, FYI they are helllllla dead
-I cried the first time I saw prophecy
-I hated when people would stare me down
-I actually like my scars
-if it wasn't for Desi, alot of people wouldn't hve known about the accident
-my sister posted bullentins up while I was in the hospital, not me.
-my disabled card is good until the end of may =)
-I went clubbing with crutches, but I had VIP for a while. But didn't need it
-I am still carless
-I haven't drove yet
-there hasn't been a day where I haven't thought bout the ACcident
-some people didn't give up their seat for me on barrt, ruuuuude
-I was so happy when I saw my classmates this sem.

I'll keep writing more for the next couple days =) my 7 days is coming quick!

One week + One Day.

Good Morning All You Readers. I HATE being at school 4 hours before Class starts, I swear I really can't wait to start driving again, So I can just get to school an hour before school starts instead of 4! Ugh. =( Well anyways. Today is One Week + One day til I can start officially start walking, that is 8 DAYS! super juiced. No more hopping around the house, asking people for rides, Piggy back rides, Using my arms to walk around the city, Crawling around the house just to bring my laptop in the living room. I really think alot of STRESS would come off my shoulder when I do start walking.

Have you ever had a dream about EVERYTHING in the past?

I did. Last night. I had a dream about me walking again (Btw, HATE those dreams, especially back then. I would always have dreams about walking, but i'll get into that more later on in the blog), about the accident, about dancing, all past Boys, friends and Good memories. All in one night. I dont know what happened But everything is just coming back.

Everytime my dad brings me to Bart in the morning. I always have my What IFs, or What I could of done in the past. But I still have to find my reason WHY this is happening to me, I have a guess, but again, there is alot more out there for me.

My parents were talking about my sister car. Her car is completely dead now, and my dad was telling us that he has to give up that car because it is donzo. but now he has to get my sister a new car plus me. Money money, what it can do to you. It can please you and it can kill you. But i really dont mind that my sister gets her car before me, because she travels more than I do at least. I mean, even though I gave up my cotillion just to get a Brand New car which I never got, i mean, this accident was ON ME. and I do have to tell myself that it IS my fault and everything that is happening right now was because of me and no one else. oh well, 8 more days. This week just needs to go by quick again, which im pretty sure it will. After tomorrow. It should be good.

So my walking dreams. Yes, i always have walking dreams, especially ALOT back then. I honestly would cry whenever I wake up because I can't do nothing about it! Its mostly about me walking, and realizing Im not suppose to be walking but I still do? When I had my cast on, i had Dreams that I would walk WITH My cast on, now its just walking regular. Last night was about me, going to this other hospital. And this girl had her shoes on but she had something wrapped on her ankle. And she was telling me, "its your turn next" and I was just thinking how does her foot not look huge when she puts shoes on! ( because on saturday, I tried on my blazers on my right foot, NOT CRACKIN )

Shoes. I usually try on different shoes on my right foot because I wanna see if I can wear them still! VANS, CHUCKS, some of my DUNKS & Jordans are TOTAL FAILED =( i would really have to wait until the swelling goes down, cus it is STILL swollen. but not as much as before. Its more, dark, flat, fat, foot. haha does that make sense? oh well. slippers & boots is what i can wear for now. but its coo! i dont mind! hahaha

Well I think thats it for now... Until then =) seee ya!

2 More Weeks!

YES, tomorrow is tuesday, and its gonna be officially 2 more weeks! This week went by quick. So hopefully this week is gonna go by quick.

Tomorrow: Class
Wednesday: Class
Thursday: Lunch w/ Chris?
Friday: Something
Saturday: My nieces baptism!


YES! but this whole blog for today was because of Tyler! Made me smile from what he said!

tyler: you make the scariest things so beautiful
tyler: lol
tyler: like the scene of the accident
tyler: it has a rainbow
tyler: when you're in the bed
tyler: you're smiling
tyler: you make fun of the two seater
tyler: "j
tyler: makes me happy

Pablo commented me saying that I was strong trouper cus I made this accident into a photoshoot! thanks pablito! =)
& Milo said something too, but i didnt get to save it! but when tyler told me that, i had to think about why I do this to myself. It's because I ALMOST DIED, and I have to make this accident as positive as I get. I like seeing pictures tho. But if I saw pictures of me Crashing, i think I would cry! haha.

BUT Remind myself: CALL the couple who stopped and helped me out.
Other than that, thats all I need to say for now! =)

Thanks for reading, Be a Follower!

2 1/2 more weeks.

So, i havent really blog. Because i've been actually pretty good right now. =) But lets see, yesterday, went to the mall with Jaz, Jas, Mich & Chad. and basically, Jaz made me crutch around the mall, i was prettty beat tho. I was like WTF! =( I was so tired, all I kept saying was "2 1/2 more weeks!" And all the shoes stores we went too. I was SO depressed. I mean, i bought shoes a couple days ago, BUT STILL! =( i havent wore them yet, and The only shoes i can really wear on BOTH my feet is boots. and i tried on Vans today, didnt work. =\ hella failed. boo.

But yeah, hmm its been kinda acting up cus its hella cold outside for no damn reason. haha but, yeah, other than that! 2 1'2 more weeks! =D yaaaaaay.

Happy Valentines Day!
:) Goes out to all my SINGLE LADIES! yaaay.

Reminiscing ..

Im in class right now, Its pretty cool in this class, But again, There hasn't been a day when i'm not thinking about the accident. I always think about what could of happened, all the What-IF's. A couple days ago, i was watching 60 minutes with my parents about the Flight that crashed in the Hudson River. And he was explaining how the first couple days were hard to sleep, and then it came to the What IF's and what could he have changed. When I heard that, i started crying because I can SO relate to that. & I was eating too! so it was all bad. haha

Then i was talking to my friend, Cjay, and she asking me what happened. And everything came back to me like it was just yesterday. Swear, like, It doesn't feel like months that it happened. it feels like It happened last week. 98 days, you guys wonder what it means right? *98 days states how long i've been going thru this experience. There's probably gonna be more days, but its 98 days i couldn't walk.

Not dancing is really killing me right now. But i know it's 3 more weeks, and im still excited cus i know its gonna go by QUICK! or at least I hope it will! =)

But I feel like it's time to tell you all the real story. or everything that I could remember & this is the first time i'm talking about this, so. here it goes.

I was going home from work, and Yes, the sun was really bright, but I was really tired... Thee last time I texted was Lani, so the people who thought i was texting, I wasnt. and So. I was going home, trying not to fall asleep, I turned on my AC, but after that all i can remember, I heard the rocks, and i was already in the center divider. and then i saw the construction truck not to far away. All i kept saying was Omg. Omg. My brakes weren't working because of the rocks. So right after I hit, I felt and smell the airbags, Omg it was the worse. Like i got slapped in my face but all i was like Fuck my parents are gonna kill me. And I didnt think i was hurt, So i took off my seat belt, and i got out of the car. Thats when I look down, and I saw my ankle out, and then i stood up and thats when I felt my collarbone hurt, I fell in the ditch and my Jordans got muddy =\ pooo. but i kept trying to look for my phone to call my sister. and My parents we're in LA so they were so far away. But i couldnt find my phone, Everyone on the freeway just kept looking at me, I was calling out for help, but no one came, and then finally a guy asked if I was okay and All i told him was to call 911. And then this couple pulls over and told me they saw the accident, and he asked me if could get around but i told him my ankle broke, and then he carried me off the side. and he grabbed my blankets that were in my car. The lady told me to take off my shoe because my foot was swelling. All i kept saying to the guy was, Can you call my sister, And thats when the ambulance came. I was scared, but I had to be calm. There was about 8 guys helping me, and they were all newbies going to a convention So i was lucky. and right when they were strapping me in, I saw a really good friend of mine, and he told me my sister called him and I just remember crying to him while i was on the strap board. Then they took me off the Fairfield.

The ambulance boys were soooo nice, I just saw them recently too. But anyways, they took me to the Fairfield hospital, and all my family were their waiting for me, the first people i saw were my brother and sister outside the door. And i was just holding my sisters hand and she was like it's gonna be okay (omg, im like hella crying in class right now) So they brought me the ER. and i was there for awhile. I saw my cousins one by one. but then, i was in pain, and i was cold. And thats when they told me I had to be transfer to UC Davis because my surgery was to complicated, Thats when I talk to my parents on the phone, and I dont think i'll ever forget the phone call from my mom. I swear she sounded like someone died plus worried times a billion. (My dad told me he got pulled over because he was speeding, but the police let them go) So while they were bringing me to Sac, my sister was hella choppin it up with the Ricky, one of the ambulance guys -____-, that little hoe. hahaha jk jaz. And then i was in the ER for so long, i was in the hallway, and I saw at least 2 people die. it was crazy, I coudlnt really sleep either, so much commotion, Then I saw ryan, and he was helping me cus i kept throwing up, and i remember him wiping my sweat and when I was doing my x'rays its was crazzy. Thanks again ry. Then I finally see my dad, his eyes were so red. I dont know if he was just tired from driving all day or crying? or maybe both. And then i saw my mom. and thats when the crying started happening I just felt so bad, i cant image what they had to go thru. knowing their child was just in a car accident in the hospital! yanno. my parents are strong for that one <3. But this white duude kept looking at us and i was like BOO, WTF. LOOK AT SOMEONE ELSE. But after a couple of hours or waiting, I finally get a room, and then I try to go to sleep, but i couldnt. The bed was more comfortable tho! hahah and then i remember waking up at 5am. telling me their gonna put me to sleep because they had to shift my foot back. They put the mask on and i was hella shaking. But after that, i dont remember anything of course. But I remember was my pillow was on the floor, and my nurse said I kept moving cus I guess my body was trying to fight with them?! hahaha WEIRD. But when i woke up, i had the mask on, and the things they put thru your nose IT WAS SOO COOOL! hahaha. but then, i couldnt find my family because i thought my dad was gonna be in there, but they kicked him out and i Woke up with a cast on. and it was pretty heavy but hella warm! My uncle and Auntie came in, and they started crying, and i NEVER seen my uncle cry. So that was a first.

Then the days go by, and im finally in a room room. My uncle hooks it up and gives me, my own room =) and then people came to visit. my bestfriends were there. Best feeling ever, Jeanie & Chris, i love you guys to DEATH! ugh. So the next day goes by, i get hella comments, messages, IMs, texts asking if I was okay. And I find out Desi told everyone cus he saw me on the scene and Dom came down from hayward to sac and Jeanie came from san pablo. Then more visitors. The surgery day came. Went to sleep at 9, didnt wake up til 5 for a good 5 minutes and then woke up again the next day around 5. But man, all i had to eat was CLEAR food. and it was so nasty, thats how I lost weight. But yeahhh, thats all I can remember. Theres more but not really important.

The Main people i wanna thank tho is. My family, Jeanie, Dom, Tina, Arielle, Marc, Patty. Thank you for being there from the beginning. I LOVE YOU GUYS =) and thats it for now.

3 More weeks counting.

Well this is my first blog, and i just want to start it off with the countdown of my Car accident.

if many of you that dont know. I got into a a car accident on November 21, 2008. I went through a center divider and hit a construction truck, Broke my collarbone & my ankle. and now months has past, and 3 more weeks until i can start walking =). It's been tough, but i'm STILL getting through it. Thanks again! <3

*5 screws, 2 plates.


Well, you guys are wondering why, I keep taking pictures of this. It's my way to let it out, since my family feels like I need to get it out in the open so I dont keep "hurting inside" IDK. I had a really bad morning and this news just made everything go away. My blood is going thru correctly and my doctors said that my foot doesn't even look like I got into a car accident ( but i think he lied cus it's still dark and emo) haha but, yeah =) super excited, March 3, get that date ready ladies and gentlemen!

Honestly, it's not easy being like this, I try to be strong for my family. I cry when I feel like i just want to give up on everything. But when I get the comments, messages, IMs, about asking me how i'm okay, I just have to remember that I could of been 6 feet under the ground. but instead, i'm here, with you! writing in this blog. This accident tells me I'm gonna be okay in life. But i'll write more later.

thanks for the prayers again <3 love you all.

-Jemma