Monday, September 28, 2009
Oops.
I have NOT blogged in a while. But i think i'm gonna use this blog as my photography blog instead of my car accident. Yeah. =)
Tuesday, May 26, 2009
Holiday.
<3
" I understand feeling as small and as insignificant as humanly possible. And how it can actually ache in places you didn't know you had inside you. And it doesn't matter how many new haircuts you get, or gyms you join, or how many glasses of chardonnay you drink with your girlfriends... you still go to bed every night going over every detail and wonder what you did wrong or how you could have misunderstood. And how in the hell for that brief moment you could think that you were that happy. And sometimes you can even convince yourself that he'll see the light and show up at your door. And after all that, however long all that may be, you'll go somewhere new. And you'll meet people who make you feel worthwhile again. And little pieces of your soul will finally come back. And all that fuzzy stuff, those years of your life that you wasted, that will eventually begin to fade. "
Because you're hoping you're wrong. And every time she does something that tells you she's no good, you ignore it. And every time she comes through and suprises you, she wins you over, and you lose that argument with yourself, that she's not for you.
" I understand feeling as small and as insignificant as humanly possible. And how it can actually ache in places you didn't know you had inside you. And it doesn't matter how many new haircuts you get, or gyms you join, or how many glasses of chardonnay you drink with your girlfriends... you still go to bed every night going over every detail and wonder what you did wrong or how you could have misunderstood. And how in the hell for that brief moment you could think that you were that happy. And sometimes you can even convince yourself that he'll see the light and show up at your door. And after all that, however long all that may be, you'll go somewhere new. And you'll meet people who make you feel worthwhile again. And little pieces of your soul will finally come back. And all that fuzzy stuff, those years of your life that you wasted, that will eventually begin to fade. "
Because you're hoping you're wrong. And every time she does something that tells you she's no good, you ignore it. And every time she comes through and suprises you, she wins you over, and you lose that argument with yourself, that she's not for you.
Thursday, May 21, 2009
19 years..
Wow, I havent blog in SO long. quick update. Starting of the beginning of May, Yupp. I started dancing again <3. I needed too. I had to. my parents know. and they were okay with it! cus i didnt wanna be away from it anymore. :] FIRST dance was JayChris & Jesse's piece. oh MAN, bucking. thats wsup. hahah, yeah it still hurts here and there. but the pain doesnt phase me. i just need a little quick massage after... haha well.. anyways. PT, havent gone for a month! but now im back. NO MORE Water shit anymore, hated that. now its more workouts. but other than that, everything is GOOD, DOne with school. thank the lord, NO More freshman. :] WHOO!
& LA was crackin. i miss it, miss LA crew, shout out to you guys!
now... the reason why i'm writing this blog is because.. its my PRINCESS WEEK! aka my birthday week! what is princess week? mm. well in our family household. if your birthday is coming up, you have one week before your birthday to be SUPER Lazy and not do anything around the house [even tho we do that all the time] but no excuses! they cant say NO to anything what you want them to do! YUPP, my family is crackin. love them. hahah.
but ionno, the accident man, of course, its never gonna leave my thought, so this birthdayyear i wanted it to be REALLY special. yanno, FIRST off, its my LAST year being a TEENAGER, & Youre only a KID ONCE. & its like. I could of not celebrate this birthday, yanno what im saying. & i just really wanna spend it with everyone i love, thats why on sunday, it is VERY important to me. even tho its Prophecy nights, its my birthday! a day, where i can say Ive been living for 19 years. & not everyone can say they live through this point, especially if they were in my situation. alot of young people pass away, and i could of been one of those young people & IM super blessed that my 19 is coming up! at first, i didnt wanna celebrate [emo of course] but, i realized this day if very very very important to me. Thats why PROPHECY NIGHTS & MY birthday became one.
Have you ever thought if you never had a second chance in life? WHAT IF that accident was really worse. & My family would be at my grave on sunday. Thoughts like that gets me hella sad, thats why Im REALLY excited for my birthday. TRULY BLESSED. Pray for me on sunday & i'll pray for you. Thats all I need to say.
I miss my transformer :[ I was watching Transformer the other day, & it made me sad. Yes, my car I called it a transformer because one day i Randomly saw the transformer sign on my car but it wasn't visible, i saw it through the sunlight <3, and Ever since then it was my transformer. Bumble Bee took care of Shia & mines took care of me <3. i DO miss that car. sigggh.
But other than that, I still hear people talk shit about me, BUT THATS COO. Because of the Situation I was In with Chad. It's fine people gotta talk shit, but if you were in MY situation, you would understand. If you got something to say, DONT say it to other people because damnright it's gonna come straight to me, so If you dont want ME knowing, keep it to yourself.
I think thats it? YUPPPP. GOOD BYE.
Thanks for reading my blogs <3
Hi meow :]
Love always,
-Jemma
& LA was crackin. i miss it, miss LA crew, shout out to you guys!
now... the reason why i'm writing this blog is because.. its my PRINCESS WEEK! aka my birthday week! what is princess week? mm. well in our family household. if your birthday is coming up, you have one week before your birthday to be SUPER Lazy and not do anything around the house [even tho we do that all the time] but no excuses! they cant say NO to anything what you want them to do! YUPP, my family is crackin. love them. hahah.
but ionno, the accident man, of course, its never gonna leave my thought, so this birthdayyear i wanted it to be REALLY special. yanno, FIRST off, its my LAST year being a TEENAGER, & Youre only a KID ONCE. & its like. I could of not celebrate this birthday, yanno what im saying. & i just really wanna spend it with everyone i love, thats why on sunday, it is VERY important to me. even tho its Prophecy nights, its my birthday! a day, where i can say Ive been living for 19 years. & not everyone can say they live through this point, especially if they were in my situation. alot of young people pass away, and i could of been one of those young people & IM super blessed that my 19 is coming up! at first, i didnt wanna celebrate [emo of course] but, i realized this day if very very very important to me. Thats why PROPHECY NIGHTS & MY birthday became one.
Have you ever thought if you never had a second chance in life? WHAT IF that accident was really worse. & My family would be at my grave on sunday. Thoughts like that gets me hella sad, thats why Im REALLY excited for my birthday. TRULY BLESSED. Pray for me on sunday & i'll pray for you. Thats all I need to say.
I miss my transformer :[ I was watching Transformer the other day, & it made me sad. Yes, my car I called it a transformer because one day i Randomly saw the transformer sign on my car but it wasn't visible, i saw it through the sunlight <3, and Ever since then it was my transformer. Bumble Bee took care of Shia & mines took care of me <3. i DO miss that car. sigggh.
But other than that, I still hear people talk shit about me, BUT THATS COO. Because of the Situation I was In with Chad. It's fine people gotta talk shit, but if you were in MY situation, you would understand. If you got something to say, DONT say it to other people because damnright it's gonna come straight to me, so If you dont want ME knowing, keep it to yourself.
I think thats it? YUPPPP. GOOD BYE.
Thanks for reading my blogs <3
Hi meow :]
Love always,
-Jemma
Tuesday, April 28, 2009
Breaking the rules...
Dancing, i've missed you so much. i KNOW im not suppose to be dancing, but especially right now. i need too.
So in the academic class, we had a guest speaker and he was a therapist. This negro hella made me cry -____-
We were talking about depression and health and shit, and i'm like woooow. really during this time.
Yes, I can say I am depressed again. -____- Dont really wanna share it with the world tho but anyways.
He told me I should go into therapy, because of my accident. But I still don't want too, physical therapy is already a bitch.
Dont wanna talk to someone else about it.. even tho Sometimes I do want too.. But i feel like its only gonna be a waste after I start really dancing again, until the doctors tell me too! But anyways...
Today, I was with Prophecy, Hella miss them. Havent seen them in 2 weeks! So, they were talking about show their gonna be doing next May, and i can say its gonna be hella crackin, so i just said FUCKIT, ima do it! i know im not suppose too! But i just really really want to dance again, 5 months is way tooo long its been KILLING ME, literally! So yes, i decided im only gonna do 1-2 piece. until I can start actually dancing again. yessss.
No lie, i just want dance to distract me from life again, So I can be so busy for everything I wont have to worry about ANYTHING besides school, dance & family. Done deal.
well thats it SO far.
LA was fun <3 miss it.
Thanks for reading!
So in the academic class, we had a guest speaker and he was a therapist. This negro hella made me cry -____-
We were talking about depression and health and shit, and i'm like woooow. really during this time.
Yes, I can say I am depressed again. -____- Dont really wanna share it with the world tho but anyways.
He told me I should go into therapy, because of my accident. But I still don't want too, physical therapy is already a bitch.
Dont wanna talk to someone else about it.. even tho Sometimes I do want too.. But i feel like its only gonna be a waste after I start really dancing again, until the doctors tell me too! But anyways...
Today, I was with Prophecy, Hella miss them. Havent seen them in 2 weeks! So, they were talking about show their gonna be doing next May, and i can say its gonna be hella crackin, so i just said FUCKIT, ima do it! i know im not suppose too! But i just really really want to dance again, 5 months is way tooo long its been KILLING ME, literally! So yes, i decided im only gonna do 1-2 piece. until I can start actually dancing again. yessss.
No lie, i just want dance to distract me from life again, So I can be so busy for everything I wont have to worry about ANYTHING besides school, dance & family. Done deal.
well thats it SO far.
LA was fun <3 miss it.
Thanks for reading!
Tuesday, April 14, 2009
Sorry Jaz ....
Another post...
From my sisster.
"It's been a crazy/depressing/relieving/happy weekend.
My sister got into a car accident last friday on the way home from work driving down West 80. She got blindsighted by the sun and ended up driving through the center divider and crashed into a construction steamer.
I'll never forget that moment when I got the phone call. A (916) is calling my cell and I usually don't pick up random numbers like that.. but on that day I did. Thank God I did. A man was on the other end asking "are you the sister of...??" I hear all this commotion in the background and then.. I hear her crying. My heart starts pounding and all these thoughts rush to my head. (OMG. please don't tell me he's holding her for ransom!? what the hell is Jemma doing in Sac?) My sister gets on the phone and is able to tell me she got into a car accident. I jump out of my chair and grab my shit as fast as I can to get out of my house.
Driving to fairfield, swear, I felt like I was starring in a Fast and the Furious movie. Speeding my life away and merging different lanes just to get to her. (i know, not smart... but i had to be with her) When I get closer to the scene, the 916 man tells me that the cops don't want me to pull over because there's too much traffic and that i should just meet them at the Northbay Medical Center by the mall. As I drive passed the scene, I see her car... my heart sinks. For that moment, I realized... I could have lost my best friend.
You see, my sister and I have a very special relationship. Growing up.. we were definitely enemies that was forced to be together. I remember I hated when my parents would force me to bring her along to Marine World with my friends. haha I had to bring her everywhere with me and I'm sure she hated it as much as me cuz I would be so mean to her. Currently, I would love to spend as much time with her as possible. Over the years, she became my best friend, but still enemy from time to time :)
After going through this whole experience, I've learned to never take the moments with my sister for granted. All the "sleepovers" we have in eachother's room, all the crazy dance moves that we do together, all the movie quotes that we always say, all the fine ass boy talks... damn, i'm lucky. We promised eachother to never say "FML, I hate my life, Kill me now" anymore and maybe you should too?
You never know when your life can be taken away or those that you love can be gone. I say, LIVE LIFE TO THE FULLEST. Take all the risks you can. Allow yourself to feel love and pain. Say what you mean to say. Fulfill your dreams to max. Let go of the things that are unnecessary.
Allow your life to mean something to yourself and to those around.
Jemma, I love you. I wish you would clean your room more often, so my belongings wouldn't go missing... but I'd rather fight with you about it than to not be able to talk to you ever again. Let's keep adding to our list of movies that we have to watch together, yea? cuz you're the "Romy to my Michelle cuz we are WHITE CHICKS that love to be SUPERSTARs that use too much GREASE. One day we might even become PHANTOMs of the OPERA and stalk an ugly girl named PENELOPE" :) Girl, you know i got yo back no matter what. Remember I was gonna cash out my checkin account to bring you to Utah for you HSM3 audition when ma&dad wasn't having it? Remember I made a fuckin ruckus at the Summer Heat show cuz someone took your cellphone & camera? Now don't forget... that I wouldn't leave your side until ma & dad came to the hospital... Ill always be your ride or die chick.
& I'm sure there will be times in the future where we still wanna rip eachother's heads off.. but deep down.. I got madd love for you. FOREVER & ALWAYS. You deserve nothing but the best. so, all the boys BETTER be scared. Jemma not only has an older brother, but OVERPROTECTIVE SISTER. if it's anybody thats gotta approve of you, IT'S ME BITCH. kay, now impress me.
Here's to you & me bitch. LOVE YOU HOE!!!!"
From my sisster.
"It's been a crazy/depressing/relieving/happy weekend.
My sister got into a car accident last friday on the way home from work driving down West 80. She got blindsighted by the sun and ended up driving through the center divider and crashed into a construction steamer.
I'll never forget that moment when I got the phone call. A (916) is calling my cell and I usually don't pick up random numbers like that.. but on that day I did. Thank God I did. A man was on the other end asking "are you the sister of...??" I hear all this commotion in the background and then.. I hear her crying. My heart starts pounding and all these thoughts rush to my head. (OMG. please don't tell me he's holding her for ransom!? what the hell is Jemma doing in Sac?) My sister gets on the phone and is able to tell me she got into a car accident. I jump out of my chair and grab my shit as fast as I can to get out of my house.
Driving to fairfield, swear, I felt like I was starring in a Fast and the Furious movie. Speeding my life away and merging different lanes just to get to her. (i know, not smart... but i had to be with her) When I get closer to the scene, the 916 man tells me that the cops don't want me to pull over because there's too much traffic and that i should just meet them at the Northbay Medical Center by the mall. As I drive passed the scene, I see her car... my heart sinks. For that moment, I realized... I could have lost my best friend.
You see, my sister and I have a very special relationship. Growing up.. we were definitely enemies that was forced to be together. I remember I hated when my parents would force me to bring her along to Marine World with my friends. haha I had to bring her everywhere with me and I'm sure she hated it as much as me cuz I would be so mean to her. Currently, I would love to spend as much time with her as possible. Over the years, she became my best friend, but still enemy from time to time :)
After going through this whole experience, I've learned to never take the moments with my sister for granted. All the "sleepovers" we have in eachother's room, all the crazy dance moves that we do together, all the movie quotes that we always say, all the fine ass boy talks... damn, i'm lucky. We promised eachother to never say "FML, I hate my life, Kill me now" anymore and maybe you should too?
You never know when your life can be taken away or those that you love can be gone. I say, LIVE LIFE TO THE FULLEST. Take all the risks you can. Allow yourself to feel love and pain. Say what you mean to say. Fulfill your dreams to max. Let go of the things that are unnecessary.
Allow your life to mean something to yourself and to those around.
Jemma, I love you. I wish you would clean your room more often, so my belongings wouldn't go missing... but I'd rather fight with you about it than to not be able to talk to you ever again. Let's keep adding to our list of movies that we have to watch together, yea? cuz you're the "Romy to my Michelle cuz we are WHITE CHICKS that love to be SUPERSTARs that use too much GREASE. One day we might even become PHANTOMs of the OPERA and stalk an ugly girl named PENELOPE" :) Girl, you know i got yo back no matter what. Remember I was gonna cash out my checkin account to bring you to Utah for you HSM3 audition when ma&dad wasn't having it? Remember I made a fuckin ruckus at the Summer Heat show cuz someone took your cellphone & camera? Now don't forget... that I wouldn't leave your side until ma & dad came to the hospital... Ill always be your ride or die chick.
& I'm sure there will be times in the future where we still wanna rip eachother's heads off.. but deep down.. I got madd love for you. FOREVER & ALWAYS. You deserve nothing but the best. so, all the boys BETTER be scared. Jemma not only has an older brother, but OVERPROTECTIVE SISTER. if it's anybody thats gotta approve of you, IT'S ME BITCH. kay, now impress me.
Here's to you & me bitch. LOVE YOU HOE!!!!"
This made me cry ...
So i was just going thru my messages from the accident, and This is the one that got me the most =)
I love you DJ for sending me this...
This is the reason why i wanted to get a tattoo =)
Enjoy!
"OMGosh just found out the new, hecka crazy, just a few weeks ago i saw u, now i check myspace, thers a pix of u in the hospital...wth???
But I just wanted to give you some encouraging words...
Matthew 8:2-3
"A man with leprosy came and knelt before him and said, 'Lord if you are willing, you can make me clean.' Jesus reached out his hand and touched the man. 'I am willing,' he said. "Be clean!" Immediately he was cured of his leprosy."
Jesus is totally willing to HEAL you of your injuries...Ask and you shall recieve...plus in the bible everyone He encounted Jesus healed every single one of them. why should you be any different. The creater of the Heavens and Earth loves you sooo much He wants to make you better, so you can get back up on the dance floor and continue to use what GOD gave to you......ima pray for you right now
Father God,
Thank you so much for jemma and her life. I know that you are in control. I pray for healing in her body, that the healing process will not take 6-9 months, but that it will be so much faster that she will be able to watch movies, hang out with the friends, go to school, and to continue to rock out the dance floor...Thank you God for her gift of dance...I pray for her dreams that they will not only be dreams, but that they will become reality...It says in your Word that you are our healer...so I hold on that promise that you will heal Jemma...I thank you ahead for the healing in her body...We believe you are in control.
In Jesus name
Aman
Jemma, you gonna be just fine, trust in God and know that He loves you so much...let me know if theres anything else I can do, and please update me on the progress
take care and GOD BLESS!!! "
I love you DJ for sending me this...
This is the reason why i wanted to get a tattoo =)
Enjoy!
"OMGosh just found out the new, hecka crazy, just a few weeks ago i saw u, now i check myspace, thers a pix of u in the hospital...wth???
But I just wanted to give you some encouraging words...
Matthew 8:2-3
"A man with leprosy came and knelt before him and said, 'Lord if you are willing, you can make me clean.' Jesus reached out his hand and touched the man. 'I am willing,' he said. "Be clean!" Immediately he was cured of his leprosy."
Jesus is totally willing to HEAL you of your injuries...Ask and you shall recieve...plus in the bible everyone He encounted Jesus healed every single one of them. why should you be any different. The creater of the Heavens and Earth loves you sooo much He wants to make you better, so you can get back up on the dance floor and continue to use what GOD gave to you......ima pray for you right now
Father God,
Thank you so much for jemma and her life. I know that you are in control. I pray for healing in her body, that the healing process will not take 6-9 months, but that it will be so much faster that she will be able to watch movies, hang out with the friends, go to school, and to continue to rock out the dance floor...Thank you God for her gift of dance...I pray for her dreams that they will not only be dreams, but that they will become reality...It says in your Word that you are our healer...so I hold on that promise that you will heal Jemma...I thank you ahead for the healing in her body...We believe you are in control.
In Jesus name
Aman
Jemma, you gonna be just fine, trust in God and know that He loves you so much...let me know if theres anything else I can do, and please update me on the progress
take care and GOD BLESS!!! "
Friday, April 10, 2009
Psychic.
WTH.
So lately, i've been having dreams thats been coming true -____-
1. I had a dream that Prophecy was gonna take 2nd Place at Breakthrough..
Then as the competition came, they won 2nd.
-____-
2. Tuesday night, i had a dream about someone getting 2 flat tires.
then i was talking to noel, and he asked me ow my day was. and i asked him, and he said "i got 2 flat tires, IN THE SAME DAY"
and i was like -____- wtf, when was this... & in my head i was like, please dont say wednesday. & he was like .. wednesday. FREAKIN TRIPPEN OUT! -________-
im freakin' psychic. haaaaa
the end.
the end.
So lately, i've been having dreams thats been coming true -____-
1. I had a dream that Prophecy was gonna take 2nd Place at Breakthrough..
Then as the competition came, they won 2nd.
-____-
2. Tuesday night, i had a dream about someone getting 2 flat tires.
then i was talking to noel, and he asked me ow my day was. and i asked him, and he said "i got 2 flat tires, IN THE SAME DAY"
and i was like -____- wtf, when was this... & in my head i was like, please dont say wednesday. & he was like .. wednesday. FREAKIN TRIPPEN OUT! -________-
im freakin' psychic. haaaaa
the end.
the end.
Wednesday, April 8, 2009
Dance.
Oh how I miss you right now, especially days like these. Where I just want to dance my life away. So all my stress can go away, or having that feeling of not caring about any bullshit. how it can make me feel so much better.
I miss how it made me SO busy from life. that i didnt have time for anything else.
i miss feeling that butterflies right when youre about to go perform on stage.
I miss how the lighting always was so bright and made me feel EXTRA hotter when i performed.
I miss performing on stage.
I miss the feedback from the audience
I miss tech'in.
I miss feeling lazy and not doing it full out
I miss greg telling me to stop talking while he's teaching
I miss making noises while we dance and perform
I miss feeling DEATH Tired after performing
I miss feeling the crowd's reaction
I miss hearing "good job:" when it was really BS.
I miss feeling being in a whole other world.
I kinda miss paying tuition.
I miss knowing that i have to fight for my spot at dance.
I miss feeling like a dancer.
I HATE that i can't do nothing about me dancing til June.
I HATE how my foot cant balance, sometimes.
:( iDK. I just want to dance SOOOOO bad already :(
GO MY STRESS AWAY. GO GO GO AWAY!
JUNE 2 <3
I miss how it made me SO busy from life. that i didnt have time for anything else.
i miss feeling that butterflies right when youre about to go perform on stage.
I miss how the lighting always was so bright and made me feel EXTRA hotter when i performed.
I miss performing on stage.
I miss the feedback from the audience
I miss tech'in.
I miss feeling lazy and not doing it full out
I miss greg telling me to stop talking while he's teaching
I miss making noises while we dance and perform
I miss feeling DEATH Tired after performing
I miss feeling the crowd's reaction
I miss hearing "good job:" when it was really BS.
I miss feeling being in a whole other world.
I kinda miss paying tuition.
I miss knowing that i have to fight for my spot at dance.
I miss feeling like a dancer.
I HATE that i can't do nothing about me dancing til June.
I HATE how my foot cant balance, sometimes.
:( iDK. I just want to dance SOOOOO bad already :(
GO MY STRESS AWAY. GO GO GO AWAY!
JUNE 2 <3
Monday, April 6, 2009
FXCK.
I feel soooooooo Stupid. :(
WHAT was i thinking? seriously!
Cmonnn ... so stupid.
Need to get over this, pronto.
Lawn understands times 10 billion. =\
WHAT was i thinking? seriously!
Cmonnn ... so stupid.
Need to get over this, pronto.
Lawn understands times 10 billion. =\
Thursday, April 2, 2009
Angry mode.
I know i've been really EMO lately, but I got my reasons...
The cutest thing tho was... i slept in my sisters room. and I guess my sister told me that my dad was asking why i was sleeping in there, and she was like "Idk, cus I have more room" and my dadd was like. "whats wrong with her" and jaz was like, "she's mad" and my dad asked about what, and he was like "she was so mean yesterday..." and then he layed next to me while i was sleeping.
(btw, i slept hella early, and i didnt even realize, 1030? maybe before that)
Ricky was like "she's sleeping early, cus she's emo" -_______- so wrong, but so true.
i LOVE when my dad just comes in my room and we can just talk for days. :) thats why i love my daddy a whole lotlotlot. MUCHO GRANDE. i know he's been working really hard lately, staying at work for straight 2 nights in a row. crazy, but thats what dads do! But anyways.
i was MAD and emo yesterday. But thanks for the people who was asking wsup. =\
Nino & Chris, mann, you two. thanks a whole bunch. seriously.
TWIN. ahhh, love you.
Jeanie, OMFG. thanks for getting me at bart at Concord all the way from San Pablo :)
Hazel, thanks for treating me out <3 good times.
Dom, thanks again too for checking up on me. and for OFFERING to pick me up all the way from Hayward, you crazeeee. hahaha
but, just ALOTALOTALOTALOTALOT is on my mind... :(
I dont know what to do now a days.
But school, getting BETTER grades, finally. thank god. A+, B, C+ & B-. UGH. :) thanks! im trying to get all A's so my GPA can get higher cus its hellahellahella low cus my damnfaccident.
but my ankle! ITS DOING ALOTALOTALOT better. :) ahhhh.
cant wait to dance soon.
TODAY IS EXACTLY, 2 MORE MONTHS TILL I START DANCING <333333 JUNE 2. NEEDS TO COME.
5 MORE WEEKS OF SCHOOL! SHIIIEEET! TOO JUICED! <3 LOVELOVE.
TOMORROW, GETAWAY TO SAN JOSE WITH THE BABIESSS, JAZ, TIA, MERC, AND ANTJEEEZYY! <333
the only time i can get away from the world is with prophecy. <3
mmm. yeah, they're performing at the DIVAS 4 DIVAS concert with Pops and Regine <3333 tooo juiceeed! ill be backstage! ahaha
MEOW, LOVE YOU.
thanks for reading my blog. <3
The cutest thing tho was... i slept in my sisters room. and I guess my sister told me that my dad was asking why i was sleeping in there, and she was like "Idk, cus I have more room" and my dadd was like. "whats wrong with her" and jaz was like, "she's mad" and my dad asked about what, and he was like "she was so mean yesterday..." and then he layed next to me while i was sleeping.
(btw, i slept hella early, and i didnt even realize, 1030? maybe before that)
Ricky was like "she's sleeping early, cus she's emo" -_______- so wrong, but so true.
i LOVE when my dad just comes in my room and we can just talk for days. :) thats why i love my daddy a whole lotlotlot. MUCHO GRANDE. i know he's been working really hard lately, staying at work for straight 2 nights in a row. crazy, but thats what dads do! But anyways.
i was MAD and emo yesterday. But thanks for the people who was asking wsup. =\
Nino & Chris, mann, you two. thanks a whole bunch. seriously.
TWIN. ahhh, love you.
Jeanie, OMFG. thanks for getting me at bart at Concord all the way from San Pablo :)
Hazel, thanks for treating me out <3 good times.
Dom, thanks again too for checking up on me. and for OFFERING to pick me up all the way from Hayward, you crazeeee. hahaha
but, just ALOTALOTALOTALOTALOT is on my mind... :(
I dont know what to do now a days.
But school, getting BETTER grades, finally. thank god. A+, B, C+ & B-. UGH. :) thanks! im trying to get all A's so my GPA can get higher cus its hellahellahella low cus my damnfaccident.
but my ankle! ITS DOING ALOTALOTALOT better. :) ahhhh.
cant wait to dance soon.
TODAY IS EXACTLY, 2 MORE MONTHS TILL I START DANCING <333333 JUNE 2. NEEDS TO COME.
5 MORE WEEKS OF SCHOOL! SHIIIEEET! TOO JUICED! <3 LOVELOVE.
TOMORROW, GETAWAY TO SAN JOSE WITH THE BABIESSS, JAZ, TIA, MERC, AND ANTJEEEZYY! <333
the only time i can get away from the world is with prophecy. <3
mmm. yeah, they're performing at the DIVAS 4 DIVAS concert with Pops and Regine <3333 tooo juiceeed! ill be backstage! ahaha
MEOW, LOVE YOU.
thanks for reading my blog. <3
Sunday, March 22, 2009
Hate November 21st. Forever.
Currently at DU right now because their practicing. with the loves of my life! Prophecy > Everyone else. basically.
Well walking, is okay. but not being able to Dance on stage is STILL killing me.
Life is confusing as HELL right now. I HATE BOYS btw. :( UGH, yes i said it.
And Dancing sounds sooo good right now to dance my anger/emoness away.
I cant WAIT to get back on the floor.
Their doing a competition this saturday, and it's a big one again.
and I CANT do it.
Found out JayChris is coming down :(
whatevs ...
June 2nd, you need to come fast, please please please. with cherries on top? :( Daaaaamn.
Well Beau is teaching right now. I really wished i Did his dance, but they look so good! ugh! so im very proud.
Song repeat is:
Thinking of you & I wished you loved me. FML.
the end.
Hiiii Meow, I know your reading this right now too! so Shoutout to you ALL the time! <3
anyways,
HATE 112108.
I wished it never happened. but everything happens for a damn reason. =\ FML.
Thanks for reading my short blog.
need to let it out
spring break is over. FMLLLLLLLLL.
I hate school.
bye. <3
Well walking, is okay. but not being able to Dance on stage is STILL killing me.
Life is confusing as HELL right now. I HATE BOYS btw. :( UGH, yes i said it.
And Dancing sounds sooo good right now to dance my anger/emoness away.
I cant WAIT to get back on the floor.
Their doing a competition this saturday, and it's a big one again.
and I CANT do it.
Found out JayChris is coming down :(
whatevs ...
June 2nd, you need to come fast, please please please. with cherries on top? :( Daaaaamn.
Well Beau is teaching right now. I really wished i Did his dance, but they look so good! ugh! so im very proud.
Song repeat is:
Thinking of you & I wished you loved me. FML.
the end.
Hiiii Meow, I know your reading this right now too! so Shoutout to you ALL the time! <3
anyways,
HATE 112108.
I wished it never happened. but everything happens for a damn reason. =\ FML.
Thanks for reading my short blog.
need to let it out
spring break is over. FMLLLLLLLLL.
I hate school.
bye. <3
Friday, March 20, 2009
Physical Therapy, Walking with Both shoes + DRIVING!
Whoa whoa whoa, So obviously i haven't wrote in this in like, FOREVER ! But this week in general was crazy.
So Physical therapy, man, i was pretty nervous when i first got in there. But everyone was so nice and basically everyone that was there was older than me. hahah, alot older! So i guess the people were looking at me, like what is she doing here? but What i had to do was put my foot in this SUPERDUPER COLD bucket for a min and then put it in the pool for 2 min. ITS TORTURE! no lie. When i was sitting there, i was thinking about the people from titanic, ommmmg. i give all those people props. cus my water was DEATH cold! i couldnt even stay there for 15 seconds. hahah. But yeah, PT has been helping ALOT! its pretty crackin.
Walking with BOTH shoes on is pretty crackin! i MISS IT! you have no idea! :) but i do miss the boot, cus it did help me ALOTALOTALOT. but hey, gotta get back to normal sooner or later! i love how i went to practice and everyone was shocked cus i didnt tell anyone, i LOVE YOU PROPHECY with all my heart <3 I cant wait to dance again!
DRIVING, what!? i know!!!!!!!! :) i drove around for the FIRST time yesterday with MY thursday crew! (rj and dann) and im surprised they werent trippen, but they were helping me drive tho! <3 thanks boys! totally love you!
mmmmm. what else was exciting this week.
Monday, lazy day.
tuesday, walking day
wednesday, both shoes day
oh! wednesday was patrick's birthday, so we went to cheesecake factory in WALNUT CREEK! omgomgomgomg, hella nice! im SO going their for my birthday! its hella big and its RIGHT next door from Urban :) yummm. hahahah first time IN THE LONGEST I seen chris superduper drunk. hahaha, poor thing, KO'd on the ride back home while me and craig was just chooopin' it up!
thursday; stayed at home, shoulda done homework, oh well! hahah
friday; just had PT and now i gotta go to the Dentist, booooo! hate the dentist.
Oh well.
tomorrow will be exciting :) Out with Prophecy and then Go to patrick's party, again.
Yaaaay. okay well im donezo for now!
thanks for reading,
Follow me! <3 :)
Oh, hI meow. :) since you always read my blog! hahaha, here's your shout out! <3
So Physical therapy, man, i was pretty nervous when i first got in there. But everyone was so nice and basically everyone that was there was older than me. hahah, alot older! So i guess the people were looking at me, like what is she doing here? but What i had to do was put my foot in this SUPERDUPER COLD bucket for a min and then put it in the pool for 2 min. ITS TORTURE! no lie. When i was sitting there, i was thinking about the people from titanic, ommmmg. i give all those people props. cus my water was DEATH cold! i couldnt even stay there for 15 seconds. hahah. But yeah, PT has been helping ALOT! its pretty crackin.
Walking with BOTH shoes on is pretty crackin! i MISS IT! you have no idea! :) but i do miss the boot, cus it did help me ALOTALOTALOT. but hey, gotta get back to normal sooner or later! i love how i went to practice and everyone was shocked cus i didnt tell anyone, i LOVE YOU PROPHECY with all my heart <3 I cant wait to dance again!
DRIVING, what!? i know!!!!!!!! :) i drove around for the FIRST time yesterday with MY thursday crew! (rj and dann) and im surprised they werent trippen, but they were helping me drive tho! <3 thanks boys! totally love you!
mmmmm. what else was exciting this week.
Monday, lazy day.
tuesday, walking day
wednesday, both shoes day
oh! wednesday was patrick's birthday, so we went to cheesecake factory in WALNUT CREEK! omgomgomgomg, hella nice! im SO going their for my birthday! its hella big and its RIGHT next door from Urban :) yummm. hahahah first time IN THE LONGEST I seen chris superduper drunk. hahaha, poor thing, KO'd on the ride back home while me and craig was just chooopin' it up!
thursday; stayed at home, shoulda done homework, oh well! hahah
friday; just had PT and now i gotta go to the Dentist, booooo! hate the dentist.
Oh well.
tomorrow will be exciting :) Out with Prophecy and then Go to patrick's party, again.
Yaaaay. okay well im donezo for now!
thanks for reading,
Follow me! <3 :)
Oh, hI meow. :) since you always read my blog! hahaha, here's your shout out! <3
Saturday, March 14, 2009
Let's Keep it Real.
Gigi: "Because of the signs.."
Alex: "Really like what?!"
Gigi: "Like it was good to hear from me and you even talk to me when you were with a girl and ... I felt something."
Alex: "What have I been saying since i met you, if a guy wants to date you, he will make it happen!, he will ask you out! why do every girl build this in their mind, they take each little thing a guy does and twist it into something else"
FUCK THE SIGNS.
LADIES, get that right!
youre either the rule or the exception.
watch that damn movie.
movie6.net
Alex: "Really like what?!"
Gigi: "Like it was good to hear from me and you even talk to me when you were with a girl and ... I felt something."
Alex: "What have I been saying since i met you, if a guy wants to date you, he will make it happen!, he will ask you out! why do every girl build this in their mind, they take each little thing a guy does and twist it into something else"
FUCK THE SIGNS.
LADIES, get that right!
youre either the rule or the exception.
watch that damn movie.
movie6.net
Friday, March 13, 2009
He's Just Not that Into You.
I AM in LOVE with this movie, no lie. I cry the first 15 minutes. -___-
It is 5:05 am =X hahaha but i just need to write.
EVERYBODY SHOULD WATCH THIS MOVIE, Girls, so you know wsup & Guys, so you know that girls know what your trying to do. bitches.
UGH. I hate but LOVE this movie. Again, I related to ALL the girls. But the main points I will write later. but DAMN.
no lie, EVERYONE needs to watch this. NO LIE, ugh. i Wish they can MAKE you watch a movie. -____- love it. i'll write more later.
It is 5:05 am =X hahaha but i just need to write.
EVERYBODY SHOULD WATCH THIS MOVIE, Girls, so you know wsup & Guys, so you know that girls know what your trying to do. bitches.
UGH. I hate but LOVE this movie. Again, I related to ALL the girls. But the main points I will write later. but DAMN.
no lie, EVERYONE needs to watch this. NO LIE, ugh. i Wish they can MAKE you watch a movie. -____- love it. i'll write more later.
Wednesday, March 11, 2009
Live Life Now Or Never.
Hmmm, i LOVE wednesday, only have one class, and leave school at 1130. :) NO one on bart either, its heaven sitting anywhere and just looking out the window w/ the ipod on. It's sunny today, so that felt nice. relaxed going back home.
So I always tend to think ALOT when i'm on Bart about EVERYTHING and everyone basically. I mean, its alot of thinking since I have to wait 30 minutes to get back home! haha. but the main thought today was, NOW OR NEVER.
Me & a friend was talking about being scared in a relationship she's currently in right. She was telling me about this song she heard on his myspace and i guess it scared her & she didn't know what to do, Cus i guess she was scared of being disappointed again, IDK i didn't really understand her. But they've been talking for a while now. & I think about it, it's like why are you scared, you know what he's willing to do for you? what if he told you that he loved you in a couple months, what are you gonna do? walk away because your scared? it's like, IF YOURE NOT READY, THEN STOP TALKING TO THAT PERSON. Cus i know how it feels to wait for hella long for that person and having weeks and months go by, and nothing is happening. I say friend, Live life Now or Never. This accident made me realize, LIVE LIFE to the Fullest. Just like the Song MAD, From Neyo
Girl, i dont want to go to bed mad at you
And i dont want you to go to bed mad at me.
You never know what the next day is holding for you.
Now for ANY guy reading this. Some of you are the types who are the player type or the quiet type. Quiet guys meaning Not saying anything first or just quiet in general, what if you had a crush on this girl for the longest and you been waiting to tell her how you feel, but the next day you find out she's in the hospital, wouldn't you WISH that you have told her how you felt. i mean, STOP being scary little bitches. because you never know what the next day is gonna hold for you. If she rejects you, then OH WELL, MOVE ON now you know you weren't wasting your time.
Ladies, all I have to say is. watch HE'S NOT THAT INTO YOU. i feel like ALL ladies in the WORLD should watch that movie, it's Legit. and sadly, I relate to all their stories -_____-. But no lie, watch it, and if guys watch it too Then GOOD, FINALLY so you know how girls actually feel.
& even with out relationships, if you want to steal something, do it! (jk, dont do it) but if you get an opportunity, take it! cus when is the next time would you get that offer, yanno. its Now or Never. but Now or Never can go with anything, all you gotta do is think about it, and youre good!
Live Life Now or Never.
word. thanks for reading my blog.
follow me <3
So I always tend to think ALOT when i'm on Bart about EVERYTHING and everyone basically. I mean, its alot of thinking since I have to wait 30 minutes to get back home! haha. but the main thought today was, NOW OR NEVER.
Me & a friend was talking about being scared in a relationship she's currently in right. She was telling me about this song she heard on his myspace and i guess it scared her & she didn't know what to do, Cus i guess she was scared of being disappointed again, IDK i didn't really understand her. But they've been talking for a while now. & I think about it, it's like why are you scared, you know what he's willing to do for you? what if he told you that he loved you in a couple months, what are you gonna do? walk away because your scared? it's like, IF YOURE NOT READY, THEN STOP TALKING TO THAT PERSON. Cus i know how it feels to wait for hella long for that person and having weeks and months go by, and nothing is happening. I say friend, Live life Now or Never. This accident made me realize, LIVE LIFE to the Fullest. Just like the Song MAD, From Neyo
Girl, i dont want to go to bed mad at you
And i dont want you to go to bed mad at me.
You never know what the next day is holding for you.
Now for ANY guy reading this. Some of you are the types who are the player type or the quiet type. Quiet guys meaning Not saying anything first or just quiet in general, what if you had a crush on this girl for the longest and you been waiting to tell her how you feel, but the next day you find out she's in the hospital, wouldn't you WISH that you have told her how you felt. i mean, STOP being scary little bitches. because you never know what the next day is gonna hold for you. If she rejects you, then OH WELL, MOVE ON now you know you weren't wasting your time.
Ladies, all I have to say is. watch HE'S NOT THAT INTO YOU. i feel like ALL ladies in the WORLD should watch that movie, it's Legit. and sadly, I relate to all their stories -_____-. But no lie, watch it, and if guys watch it too Then GOOD, FINALLY so you know how girls actually feel.
& even with out relationships, if you want to steal something, do it! (jk, dont do it) but if you get an opportunity, take it! cus when is the next time would you get that offer, yanno. its Now or Never. but Now or Never can go with anything, all you gotta do is think about it, and youre good!
Live Life Now or Never.
word. thanks for reading my blog.
follow me <3
Tuesday, March 10, 2009
RoboCop Status
Dear Bloggerettes.
So. I haven't been really writing, midterms is coming up, and then SPRING BREAK! hella early right? lol well anyways.. i havent really need to write anything, but I've been walking... ALOT. and its been hurting, and now its like SUPER swollen near my ankle. i think im flat footed now. :( and i STILL cant wear my vans. Boooo.
PT. hasnt even started yet, i gotta call them tomorrow about my appointment, cus i already wanna walk WITH BOTH my shoes. please haha, but i've been getting alot of comments with my new robocop boot.
ill show you the before and after picture. trust, its like, DAMN good thing she pimped it out, cus it was NO BUENO! hahaha
but today, was the first time i walked around the house withOUT my boot. so it felt so weird, like i can change without hurting yanno. oh well, baby steps. at least i can walk to the bathroom and stuff =)
i gotta put some icycold thangy on it later. so it can be warm and the screws wont tense up, cus thats what its been doing because of the damn cold.
I HATE DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TOO btw. haha
well here.
merc was wearin the boot cus she wanted too?
& this is what it looks after, you cant see it but theres a NIKE sign :)
so thats it, until then,
thanks for reading my blogs =)
FOLLOW ME! <3
So. I haven't been really writing, midterms is coming up, and then SPRING BREAK! hella early right? lol well anyways.. i havent really need to write anything, but I've been walking... ALOT. and its been hurting, and now its like SUPER swollen near my ankle. i think im flat footed now. :( and i STILL cant wear my vans. Boooo.
PT. hasnt even started yet, i gotta call them tomorrow about my appointment, cus i already wanna walk WITH BOTH my shoes. please haha, but i've been getting alot of comments with my new robocop boot.
ill show you the before and after picture. trust, its like, DAMN good thing she pimped it out, cus it was NO BUENO! hahaha
but today, was the first time i walked around the house withOUT my boot. so it felt so weird, like i can change without hurting yanno. oh well, baby steps. at least i can walk to the bathroom and stuff =)
i gotta put some icycold thangy on it later. so it can be warm and the screws wont tense up, cus thats what its been doing because of the damn cold.
I HATE DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TOO btw. haha
well here.
merc was wearin the boot cus she wanted too?
& this is what it looks after, you cant see it but theres a NIKE sign :)
so thats it, until then,
thanks for reading my blogs =)
FOLLOW ME! <3
Thursday, March 5, 2009
Clear sky.
What a day, and it hasn't even begun! well . kinda. hahah
went to sac with my sisterfab. and she had class. so i was chillen at Sac State for a good minute. Chillen with Mr. Patrick (thanks for skipping class to keeping me company =) ) haha but we talked to arweezy today on videochat, he's in florida right now. but i missed him! hahaha. but anyways, then we went to the mall. to pick up my NINER Jacket! it looks big, but its coo! i love it! <3
now i'm just chillen at sac again, ALONE. haha while jaz takes her exam, boo.
well. gonna have dinner with christopher later. so that should be fun! :)
love the sun today, soo pretty in sac to get away from the bay feels good. <3
thanks for reading. :)
went to sac with my sisterfab. and she had class. so i was chillen at Sac State for a good minute. Chillen with Mr. Patrick (thanks for skipping class to keeping me company =) ) haha but we talked to arweezy today on videochat, he's in florida right now. but i missed him! hahaha. but anyways, then we went to the mall. to pick up my NINER Jacket! it looks big, but its coo! i love it! <3
now i'm just chillen at sac again, ALONE. haha while jaz takes her exam, boo.
well. gonna have dinner with christopher later. so that should be fun! :)
love the sun today, soo pretty in sac to get away from the bay feels good. <3
thanks for reading. :)
Wednesday, March 4, 2009
Timing is everything...
FUCK THAT! I hate how this process is so FUCKING SLOW! i'm sorry, i'm mad. but let me tell you about my day first :)
Walked around SF for the first time, NO one on bart, slept thru the whole thing. yadiyadi. jaz got me in her cute rental car!
oh, we hella painted my jedi boot. its not even a robocop starwars boot, its more, artsy nike now :) haahah you just have to see it. well I was at dance, and i learned busta rhymes, and i was hella juiced. BUT i kept all my weight on my left leg. but thanks kenny & arielle. :) i was waiting to learn that dance.
But basically, SUPER depressed. because I got invited to do HipHop International in Vegas. and can i do it?! MAYBE. because i can start dancing june and its in july. I BETTER DO IT. i'm so mad that i'm like this. I HATE HATE HATE HATE this accident. =\ whatevs. cant do anything now!
But I LOVE YOU ANTHONY, but, if he does it, then i'm forsure cant do hiphop international =\ but i mean, it IS my fault that this stupid accident happen, so anthony deserves it. So We shall see how things go.
Life sucks, until i can start dancing again.
Totally can walk around without the crutches, but im not suppose too -_____- GAY. PT needs to start and end already. shit.
bye.
Walked around SF for the first time, NO one on bart, slept thru the whole thing. yadiyadi. jaz got me in her cute rental car!
oh, we hella painted my jedi boot. its not even a robocop starwars boot, its more, artsy nike now :) haahah you just have to see it. well I was at dance, and i learned busta rhymes, and i was hella juiced. BUT i kept all my weight on my left leg. but thanks kenny & arielle. :) i was waiting to learn that dance.
But basically, SUPER depressed. because I got invited to do HipHop International in Vegas. and can i do it?! MAYBE. because i can start dancing june and its in july. I BETTER DO IT. i'm so mad that i'm like this. I HATE HATE HATE HATE this accident. =\ whatevs. cant do anything now!
But I LOVE YOU ANTHONY, but, if he does it, then i'm forsure cant do hiphop international =\ but i mean, it IS my fault that this stupid accident happen, so anthony deserves it. So We shall see how things go.
Life sucks, until i can start dancing again.
Totally can walk around without the crutches, but im not suppose too -_____- GAY. PT needs to start and end already. shit.
bye.
Tuesday, March 3, 2009
Its not what I wanted to hear...
What a day ..
So i woke up, got ready. Headed to sac, my heart was pounding! I didnt know what to expect, what to hear. all i wanted to hear was just good news. "Jemma Alegre" they called my name, I was going to the door, and they told me, "you know where to go" so While i wait in the Xray room FOREVER they told me to stay so they could see the xrays and they would let me go, so they did. and then we headed to the Station 3, same room I always go to when i have an appointment. So while I wait, my dad jokes around saying "what if they told you, you have another week" I would of cried.
SO they came in, they told me my collarbone is COMPLETELY healed. :) and that my ankle was pretty good, and that i can walk on it. BUT, i still had to be on crutches for 2 weeks during physical theorpy, it said its gonna take time cus i wont be used to it. So it was fine. Then my doctor told me, I cant dance until I see him again, and i asked him when was that and he told me... 3 months. i think my heart broke even more. Because I just wanted to dance again. and during that 3 months will be ABDC Season 4 auditions. So i dont know what to do =\ but at least Collabo is in July.
June 2nd, 2009 is my last appointment. But I dont mind, because i really need to concentrate on this sem because of last semester.
But after that, I got a new boot. HATE IT, i swear, it looks like star wars shit. HATE IT. but it gets me around. they told me i would use both my crutches to ONE crutch then my boot will come off. but shit, i didnt need both my crutches, i could already walk with one. and I COULD WALK AROUND WITH THE BOOT too, its just hella heavy. that i do have to use my crutch sometimes. So for now, i'm HALF a robo starwars girl. hahah
Then my dad said, lets go to the mall! so you can practice. did. :) HE GOT ME A NINER JACKET. super juiced. and some clothes. and then that was it. but basically, i can walk. with regular shoes in 2 weeks. but i dont care. I just want PT to hurry up!
well thats all for now. :)
MY DAY IS TODAY. But for now. its just. walking with the ugly boot. lol.
THANKS FOR READING MY BLOGS <3
Follow me. Thanks :)
So i woke up, got ready. Headed to sac, my heart was pounding! I didnt know what to expect, what to hear. all i wanted to hear was just good news. "Jemma Alegre" they called my name, I was going to the door, and they told me, "you know where to go" so While i wait in the Xray room FOREVER they told me to stay so they could see the xrays and they would let me go, so they did. and then we headed to the Station 3, same room I always go to when i have an appointment. So while I wait, my dad jokes around saying "what if they told you, you have another week" I would of cried.
SO they came in, they told me my collarbone is COMPLETELY healed. :) and that my ankle was pretty good, and that i can walk on it. BUT, i still had to be on crutches for 2 weeks during physical theorpy, it said its gonna take time cus i wont be used to it. So it was fine. Then my doctor told me, I cant dance until I see him again, and i asked him when was that and he told me... 3 months. i think my heart broke even more. Because I just wanted to dance again. and during that 3 months will be ABDC Season 4 auditions. So i dont know what to do =\ but at least Collabo is in July.
June 2nd, 2009 is my last appointment. But I dont mind, because i really need to concentrate on this sem because of last semester.
But after that, I got a new boot. HATE IT, i swear, it looks like star wars shit. HATE IT. but it gets me around. they told me i would use both my crutches to ONE crutch then my boot will come off. but shit, i didnt need both my crutches, i could already walk with one. and I COULD WALK AROUND WITH THE BOOT too, its just hella heavy. that i do have to use my crutch sometimes. So for now, i'm HALF a robo starwars girl. hahah
Then my dad said, lets go to the mall! so you can practice. did. :) HE GOT ME A NINER JACKET. super juiced. and some clothes. and then that was it. but basically, i can walk. with regular shoes in 2 weeks. but i dont care. I just want PT to hurry up!
well thats all for now. :)
MY DAY IS TODAY. But for now. its just. walking with the ugly boot. lol.
THANKS FOR READING MY BLOGS <3
Follow me. Thanks :)
Monday, March 2, 2009
EMOtional.
Wooow, So have you heard just a sentence or a word and made you think about everything?
I told my dad what happened at BART. And he told me...
"rmember... be carefull. walk slowly ,don't matter if you are going to be late.. remember 1 more day.... "
when he said one more day. it just HIT me, I didnt realize, how LONG i've been waiting for this day. Tomorrow is gonna be the day they can tell me I can walk, and that day will just make my LIFE more easier. I want this day to go by so quick, you have no idea. Yes, I cried when i was talking to my dad, good thing no one is in the lab, it's because it's been a very very rough time for all of us.
I thought about all the shots, the times when i was super emo, the tears, the times where All i could do was just lay down. Everything is gonna end, and that day is gonna be tomorrow.
Those tears that I shed today was not because of sadness, but of happiness.
I think thats the first time, I EVER cried for happinesss, i wonder how tomorrow is gonna be.
97 days so far. 98 tomorrow...
I told my dad what happened at BART. And he told me...
"rmember... be carefull. walk slowly ,don't matter if you are going to be late.. remember 1 more day.... "
when he said one more day. it just HIT me, I didnt realize, how LONG i've been waiting for this day. Tomorrow is gonna be the day they can tell me I can walk, and that day will just make my LIFE more easier. I want this day to go by so quick, you have no idea. Yes, I cried when i was talking to my dad, good thing no one is in the lab, it's because it's been a very very rough time for all of us.
I thought about all the shots, the times when i was super emo, the tears, the times where All i could do was just lay down. Everything is gonna end, and that day is gonna be tomorrow.
Those tears that I shed today was not because of sadness, but of happiness.
I think thats the first time, I EVER cried for happinesss, i wonder how tomorrow is gonna be.
97 days so far. 98 tomorrow...
Best week ever? ....
Good Morning everyone... scratch that. MORNING. Not a good morning. -___-, get into more details with that later. anyways ...
Yesterday, thanks to my other mrs. nick j, she told me that the boys were going to be in town for the special visit for the invasion tour at the mall. and i was hella trying to get out there until jeanie wanted to go too. So we get there, find out that hella girls found out from websites too. but its coo, they were there. forreal only saw them for 5 seconds. hahah no lie, they were talking for a good minute. and said thank yous, and left. -____- i was like woow really. whatevs, i mean, we always said that if we just SEE them then thats good. so its was okay i guess...
Then this morning, i woke up early cus i knew my dad wanted to leave early because i asked him to go to SF today because i knew it was raining. So he's going too... and then, when im going to bart. IDK HOW. But i SLIPPED AND HELLA FELL on my back! i was SOOOO embrassed. No one helped, typical. But i was like FUCK these crutches, one more fucking day. but my back hurts still and my collarbone is acting up now. =\whatevs.... have you ever seen prophecys ending from Prelude or any of our shows, we do the "SHABLAM" hit the floor, i think i have a picture.
like that.... When i was on the floor, i was like WTH? how did i get down here. whatevs. But
ONE MORE DAY. it needs to come. =( quick.
collarbone is hurting, im done for now. gotta do homework now.
Thanks for reading. :)
Yesterday, thanks to my other mrs. nick j, she told me that the boys were going to be in town for the special visit for the invasion tour at the mall. and i was hella trying to get out there until jeanie wanted to go too. So we get there, find out that hella girls found out from websites too. but its coo, they were there. forreal only saw them for 5 seconds. hahah no lie, they were talking for a good minute. and said thank yous, and left. -____- i was like woow really. whatevs, i mean, we always said that if we just SEE them then thats good. so its was okay i guess...
Then this morning, i woke up early cus i knew my dad wanted to leave early because i asked him to go to SF today because i knew it was raining. So he's going too... and then, when im going to bart. IDK HOW. But i SLIPPED AND HELLA FELL on my back! i was SOOOO embrassed. No one helped, typical. But i was like FUCK these crutches, one more fucking day. but my back hurts still and my collarbone is acting up now. =\whatevs.... have you ever seen prophecys ending from Prelude or any of our shows, we do the "SHABLAM" hit the floor, i think i have a picture.
like that.... When i was on the floor, i was like WTH? how did i get down here. whatevs. But
ONE MORE DAY. it needs to come. =( quick.
collarbone is hurting, im done for now. gotta do homework now.
Thanks for reading. :)
Sunday, March 1, 2009
2 more days!
I LOVE the weather today! :)
"I love this weather, its something where you stay home and cuddle" -Mother
hahaha when she said that, i was like, so true, so true. =)
But yeah, anyways. 2 more effing days =)
Let me tell you about last night. Chad got me around 4ish, didn't leave the house around 630ish, thought we would be late to richards basketball game, turns out they were still playin in the first half! haha, so we got there, they lost =( and while we were going to our next destination, this guy was walking out with us and was like, "what happened with you" and i told him that i was in a car accident, and he said "mann, those bad drivers out there!" and everyone started HELLA laughing and i was just looking down. hahaha, and i was like no, its just me... and he was like, OH so YOURE the bad driver! hahaha, and i was like. =( yeahh... i guess. and i forgot who said it but they were like, its the sun fault. hahah! i was like boo =( whatevs. hahah.
But i didn't mind. Today was the last sunday ill be sitting in the annex ! =) Mann, i HATE sitting there because i feel like i'm not really in church! yanno. but, man, walking, too excited. i REALLY cant wait! =) 2 more days, tomorrow needs to end quick from school. sjdhfjksdhfasdhf.
OH! and my MOFO BEST FRIEND is coming with me to the hospital!!!! =D too excited. ksdfkjasdbfnaf, anyways. we're talking about going to disneyland next month! :) yayayayayayayy. i love my family! yayy!
well, i have really nothing else to say. but, 2 more days! ill write more tomorrow at school! see ya!
Thanks for reading my blogs <3
"I love this weather, its something where you stay home and cuddle" -Mother
hahaha when she said that, i was like, so true, so true. =)
But yeah, anyways. 2 more effing days =)
Let me tell you about last night. Chad got me around 4ish, didn't leave the house around 630ish, thought we would be late to richards basketball game, turns out they were still playin in the first half! haha, so we got there, they lost =( and while we were going to our next destination, this guy was walking out with us and was like, "what happened with you" and i told him that i was in a car accident, and he said "mann, those bad drivers out there!" and everyone started HELLA laughing and i was just looking down. hahaha, and i was like no, its just me... and he was like, OH so YOURE the bad driver! hahaha, and i was like. =( yeahh... i guess. and i forgot who said it but they were like, its the sun fault. hahah! i was like boo =( whatevs. hahah.
But i didn't mind. Today was the last sunday ill be sitting in the annex ! =) Mann, i HATE sitting there because i feel like i'm not really in church! yanno. but, man, walking, too excited. i REALLY cant wait! =) 2 more days, tomorrow needs to end quick from school. sjdhfjksdhfasdhf.
OH! and my MOFO BEST FRIEND is coming with me to the hospital!!!! =D too excited. ksdfkjasdbfnaf, anyways. we're talking about going to disneyland next month! :) yayayayayayayy. i love my family! yayy!
well, i have really nothing else to say. but, 2 more days! ill write more tomorrow at school! see ya!
Thanks for reading my blogs <3
Saturday, February 28, 2009
4/3 days left.
So didnt write in my blog yesterday. But yesterday was just a -_____- day.
First, woke up. went to sanpablo, and just CHILLED infront of century theatre for 6 hours. for the Boys. but it didn't happened.
& then after went to the PYC thing. it was coool..
3 Days left, Jeanie is coming with me to the hospital =) yesssss!
But other than that, dont feel like writing.
First, woke up. went to sanpablo, and just CHILLED infront of century theatre for 6 hours. for the Boys. but it didn't happened.
& then after went to the PYC thing. it was coool..
3 Days left, Jeanie is coming with me to the hospital =) yesssss!
But other than that, dont feel like writing.
Thursday, February 26, 2009
5 More days!
Well The 40 days started for Lent. I Remember when my countdown was 40 days, i hella just kept thinking "Mann, its just like Lent, i gave up dancing and walking for lent" hahah, So 5 more days. Soon Soon =) SO excited. I dont know what to expect, Well I know walking, but I dont know what their gonna tell me, if I can wear another shoe or wear another cast for me to walk on. Yanno! whatevs, its coming! =) and im SO excited.
Gave up for Lent.
- Shopping
- Stop being abussive =D
- Surfing the internet during class (because i do that, ALOT!)
- Fast food, kinda.
So, Yesterday it was just me and my mother that went to church together, and it was pretty interesting. My dad had to stay after work, my sister was stuck in sac and my brother isn't catholic. So when we went to church, we were talking about boys and relationship. And it's weird, I dont ususally talk to my mom about that, Only with my Sister ... and my dad. haha weird? i know. But anyways. I can say, me and my mom are on a whole another level. So anyways, after church, we went to eat at OLIVE GARDEN (yumm, btw, someone finished my alfreado this morning, WHO ATE IT!?) anyways. yeah, we were just talking, and i felt like I wasnt even having dinner with my mom. Because she was acting like a freakin teenager. IDK how to explain, but she was. & then I told her that she should read this blog, since my cousin reads this too, (WSUP KUYA BONG!) hahah, but she was asking us WHY me and my sister do this. & I told her, jaz writes about her life. & i write about my accident. & i remember her asking me if i do during BREAK. hahah and i told her straight up that i do SOME of it during class time.
So after we were leaving, we had the CUTEST server. haha shout out to him too! haha but after, I didnt say anything about him being cute to my mom, but after we got in the car, she was like, THAT WAS A CUTE BOY. and i was like OMG. you totally read my mind! hahah
and then I told her about the Filipino lady too, and my mom was asking If i had school on friday, and I told her I didnt. And she was saying that she wanted to go over there and show her wsuppp. and I told her my plan about buying the black lady that i'm gonna buy her starbucks and put it that ladies face and be like BOOOYA! and my mom was like Goodjob, do that. =) hahah
I realized that I AM both my Mom and Dad. hahah can't believe it. But it was fun having dinner just with her. and my dad didnt wanna go because he didnt want to pay for dinner. haha :) ohhhh daddy.
well 5 MORE DAYS ! =) The day will come soon, its going by quick already. Well thats all for now!
Thanks for reading my blogs <3
Gave up for Lent.
- Shopping
- Stop being abussive =D
- Surfing the internet during class (because i do that, ALOT!)
- Fast food, kinda.
So, Yesterday it was just me and my mother that went to church together, and it was pretty interesting. My dad had to stay after work, my sister was stuck in sac and my brother isn't catholic. So when we went to church, we were talking about boys and relationship. And it's weird, I dont ususally talk to my mom about that, Only with my Sister ... and my dad. haha weird? i know. But anyways. I can say, me and my mom are on a whole another level. So anyways, after church, we went to eat at OLIVE GARDEN (yumm, btw, someone finished my alfreado this morning, WHO ATE IT!?) anyways. yeah, we were just talking, and i felt like I wasnt even having dinner with my mom. Because she was acting like a freakin teenager. IDK how to explain, but she was. & then I told her that she should read this blog, since my cousin reads this too, (WSUP KUYA BONG!) hahah, but she was asking us WHY me and my sister do this. & I told her, jaz writes about her life. & i write about my accident. & i remember her asking me if i do during BREAK. hahah and i told her straight up that i do SOME of it during class time.
So after we were leaving, we had the CUTEST server. haha shout out to him too! haha but after, I didnt say anything about him being cute to my mom, but after we got in the car, she was like, THAT WAS A CUTE BOY. and i was like OMG. you totally read my mind! hahah
and then I told her about the Filipino lady too, and my mom was asking If i had school on friday, and I told her I didnt. And she was saying that she wanted to go over there and show her wsuppp. and I told her my plan about buying the black lady that i'm gonna buy her starbucks and put it that ladies face and be like BOOOYA! and my mom was like Goodjob, do that. =) hahah
I realized that I AM both my Mom and Dad. hahah can't believe it. But it was fun having dinner just with her. and my dad didnt wanna go because he didnt want to pay for dinner. haha :) ohhhh daddy.
well 5 MORE DAYS ! =) The day will come soon, its going by quick already. Well thats all for now!
Thanks for reading my blogs <3
Wednesday, February 25, 2009
6 more days..
My last Wednesday using crutches at school! Finalllly... When I was walking up the hill all I kept thinking about was finally... This day is coming. I saw the Filipino lady today and I just rolled my eyes at her! Bitchass. Anyways. Well let's see. I get to go home early for once. Usually I'm in the lab or at marcs house... Poo. It's okay ..
So me and my dad were talking this morning and he was asking me how many days I have left.. And I was like 6 .. And he was like that means I'm never gonna see you around the house anymore .. And when he said that I was like Mann... Maybe that's a reason why this happened was because I need to spend time with my parents more... I feel like when I start walking and working. I really do want to take them out for dinner. Yanno. Just to show them how thankful I am.. Well what else ..
During class, we had to present our flowchart for the website were designing.. And when it was my turn .. He told me that I could sit down. But I didn't want to.. Dan asked how Long I was like this for .. And I told him 4 months. And he was like that sounds like. Really long time. And that's when all the questions from everyone came in. Even my partner asked me wsup. Haha so basically at the end I asked everyone if everyone had any more questions about my car accident and everyone just laughed it off and then I started my presentation.
Recently I've been thinking about the couple who stopped and help me when they were on the freeway. But Jazmin didn't have the number. So I have to get it from her when she gets home.. I mean I always pray for them, I mean who really stops when you see a car accident. I mean how many times have you seen a accident and didn't stop to see how you're okay.. They paused what they were doing just to see if I was okay .. And there was Hella traffic that day and all I saw was people just starin at me with their mouth Hella opened. So they were on my mind too. Just to do something for them... Yanno.
The day gets closer .. And I can't and think what's gonna happen after this .. I waited for so long and what can I do now ... I know I have to be careful when I start dancing again. But it also means, back to reality. Where I had to work and do everything for myself. No more favors and everything ... But it's fine .. I think I rather have that then can't doing nothing at all...
Thanks for reading my blogs! =)
6 more days ....
So me and my dad were talking this morning and he was asking me how many days I have left.. And I was like 6 .. And he was like that means I'm never gonna see you around the house anymore .. And when he said that I was like Mann... Maybe that's a reason why this happened was because I need to spend time with my parents more... I feel like when I start walking and working. I really do want to take them out for dinner. Yanno. Just to show them how thankful I am.. Well what else ..
During class, we had to present our flowchart for the website were designing.. And when it was my turn .. He told me that I could sit down. But I didn't want to.. Dan asked how Long I was like this for .. And I told him 4 months. And he was like that sounds like. Really long time. And that's when all the questions from everyone came in. Even my partner asked me wsup. Haha so basically at the end I asked everyone if everyone had any more questions about my car accident and everyone just laughed it off and then I started my presentation.
Recently I've been thinking about the couple who stopped and help me when they were on the freeway. But Jazmin didn't have the number. So I have to get it from her when she gets home.. I mean I always pray for them, I mean who really stops when you see a car accident. I mean how many times have you seen a accident and didn't stop to see how you're okay.. They paused what they were doing just to see if I was okay .. And there was Hella traffic that day and all I saw was people just starin at me with their mouth Hella opened. So they were on my mind too. Just to do something for them... Yanno.
The day gets closer .. And I can't and think what's gonna happen after this .. I waited for so long and what can I do now ... I know I have to be careful when I start dancing again. But it also means, back to reality. Where I had to work and do everything for myself. No more favors and everything ... But it's fine .. I think I rather have that then can't doing nothing at all...
Thanks for reading my blogs! =)
6 more days ....
Tuesday, February 24, 2009
Stupid School
SO. When I wrote my 7 Days Blog, I was on Bart. Because I felt like writing alot!
But this is for ALL the people helped me. and who hasnt.
So Thank you for all the people who gave up their seat for me on Bart, Who opened doors for me & Everything else.
NOW. If you didn't know, I go to Academy of Art . & There are always these 2 ladies in the front desk. Theres a black lady & a Filipino lady. So the Black lady always opened the door for me and made sure I got to class safe. and NOW the filipino lady -___-.
OMG. There was no one there, and so i opened my door for myself & I was pulling the door open. And what was SHE doing. she was just STARIN AT ME DOWN! i'm like WTF, are you not gonna help!? All she said was.. "you know you can push the door, laughing" LIKE NIGGGA. WTF, I THOUGHT THIS WAS YOUR FUCKING JOB ! to HELP student. I got hella mad, i was like WTF? and the black lady was occupied! So she couldn't Help me.
she a dumb hoe now forever in my eyes. for all you AAU student, I hope you know who i'm talking about. Whatevs.
Angry. -___-
But this is for ALL the people helped me. and who hasnt.
So Thank you for all the people who gave up their seat for me on Bart, Who opened doors for me & Everything else.
NOW. If you didn't know, I go to Academy of Art . & There are always these 2 ladies in the front desk. Theres a black lady & a Filipino lady. So the Black lady always opened the door for me and made sure I got to class safe. and NOW the filipino lady -___-.
OMG. There was no one there, and so i opened my door for myself & I was pulling the door open. And what was SHE doing. she was just STARIN AT ME DOWN! i'm like WTF, are you not gonna help!? All she said was.. "you know you can push the door, laughing" LIKE NIGGGA. WTF, I THOUGHT THIS WAS YOUR FUCKING JOB ! to HELP student. I got hella mad, i was like WTF? and the black lady was occupied! So she couldn't Help me.
she a dumb hoe now forever in my eyes. for all you AAU student, I hope you know who i'm talking about. Whatevs.
Angry. -___-
7DAYS.
Have you ever wanna kill yourself when you hear that saying "7days". Hate that movie! Well anyways I'm on Bart right now writing to you all. Well let's see. Me and good friend were on the phone last night and he got me thinking that my past 3 months has been crazy!! I can't believe the day I'v been waiting for is coming! 7 more days =) yesss...
So I decide to do a list of everything I had to do In the past !
-I had to get stomach shots on my stomach everyday so I wouldn't get blood cloths. I cried all the time.
-I saw 2 people die when I was in the ER
-I had 8 guys help me on the scene,alovely couple & 2 cars coming in
-hate the police,they laughed at me when they saw me
-I got transfer twice and it cost about 5,000 dollars
-I was in the ER with my sister for about almost a day
-my brother and sister kept taking pictures of me when I was in pain
-I always threw up after I got medicine
-Ryan was also with me the rest of the time,cleaning me up. Thanks ry.
-my best friends drove from San pablo and Hayward just to go see me that day
- I was suppose to go to a warriors game that day
-I woke up every two hours for the past month.
-I hellllllla cried before surgery
-I still have bruises from the accident
-I got to wear jeans 2 months later
-2 days after I got out of the hospital I got my hair done
-my guy best friend blew me a kiss infront of my family! (they thought he was my boyfriend)
-I was only alone ONCE in the hospital room
-I slept most of they day of the surgery
-they said my surgery was gonna be 2 1/2 hours long when it took 4 1/2
-the picture you see of me smiling was after my sister found my phone in the car (hense I'm holding my phone in my hand) oh and she brought my laptop!
-hospital foood is Hella grosss
-I had clear liquid foods for 2days straight
-the most people I had in my room were about 25. All at once
-taking a shower was heaven. I was in there for almost an hour just chillen.
-first time going out was with Arielle=) to arwyns goodbye party
-I still have clothes and shoes I haven't worn yet cus I wanted to wait after I started walking
-I was stressin alot about school
-I was emo 7/10 during this whole experience
- I was in bed most of the time
- myspace. Facebook And aim can really take up a whole day
-UsA channel was on 24/7
-I got shots 5 shots at least once aday
-my cast was humungo!
-I had to wear shorts on the coldest day
-Dom pushed me aroundthe mall during break
-I.Never gotto eat the food everyone got me.
-I still have all the flowers gave me, FYI they are helllllla dead
-I cried the first time I saw prophecy
-I hated when people would stare me down
-I actually like my scars
-if it wasn't for Desi, alot of people wouldn't hve known about the accident
-my sister posted bullentins up while I was in the hospital, not me.
-my disabled card is good until the end of may =)
-I went clubbing with crutches, but I had VIP for a while. But didn't need it
-I am still carless
-I haven't drove yet
-there hasn't been a day where I haven't thought bout the ACcident
-some people didn't give up their seat for me on barrt, ruuuuude
-I was so happy when I saw my classmates this sem.
I'll keep writing more for the next couple days =) my 7 days is coming quick!
So I decide to do a list of everything I had to do In the past !
-I had to get stomach shots on my stomach everyday so I wouldn't get blood cloths. I cried all the time.
-I saw 2 people die when I was in the ER
-I had 8 guys help me on the scene,alovely couple & 2 cars coming in
-hate the police,they laughed at me when they saw me
-I got transfer twice and it cost about 5,000 dollars
-I was in the ER with my sister for about almost a day
-my brother and sister kept taking pictures of me when I was in pain
-I always threw up after I got medicine
-Ryan was also with me the rest of the time,cleaning me up. Thanks ry.
-my best friends drove from San pablo and Hayward just to go see me that day
- I was suppose to go to a warriors game that day
-I woke up every two hours for the past month.
-I hellllllla cried before surgery
-I still have bruises from the accident
-I got to wear jeans 2 months later
-2 days after I got out of the hospital I got my hair done
-my guy best friend blew me a kiss infront of my family! (they thought he was my boyfriend)
-I was only alone ONCE in the hospital room
-I slept most of they day of the surgery
-they said my surgery was gonna be 2 1/2 hours long when it took 4 1/2
-the picture you see of me smiling was after my sister found my phone in the car (hense I'm holding my phone in my hand) oh and she brought my laptop!
-hospital foood is Hella grosss
-I had clear liquid foods for 2days straight
-the most people I had in my room were about 25. All at once
-taking a shower was heaven. I was in there for almost an hour just chillen.
-first time going out was with Arielle=) to arwyns goodbye party
-I still have clothes and shoes I haven't worn yet cus I wanted to wait after I started walking
-I was stressin alot about school
-I was emo 7/10 during this whole experience
- I was in bed most of the time
- myspace. Facebook And aim can really take up a whole day
-UsA channel was on 24/7
-I got shots 5 shots at least once aday
-my cast was humungo!
-I had to wear shorts on the coldest day
-Dom pushed me aroundthe mall during break
-I.Never gotto eat the food everyone got me.
-I still have all the flowers gave me, FYI they are helllllla dead
-I cried the first time I saw prophecy
-I hated when people would stare me down
-I actually like my scars
-if it wasn't for Desi, alot of people wouldn't hve known about the accident
-my sister posted bullentins up while I was in the hospital, not me.
-my disabled card is good until the end of may =)
-I went clubbing with crutches, but I had VIP for a while. But didn't need it
-I am still carless
-I haven't drove yet
-there hasn't been a day where I haven't thought bout the ACcident
-some people didn't give up their seat for me on barrt, ruuuuude
-I was so happy when I saw my classmates this sem.
I'll keep writing more for the next couple days =) my 7 days is coming quick!
Monday, February 23, 2009
One week + One Day.
Good Morning All You Readers. I HATE being at school 4 hours before Class starts, I swear I really can't wait to start driving again, So I can just get to school an hour before school starts instead of 4! Ugh. =( Well anyways. Today is One Week + One day til I can start officially start walking, that is 8 DAYS! super juiced. No more hopping around the house, asking people for rides, Piggy back rides, Using my arms to walk around the city, Crawling around the house just to bring my laptop in the living room. I really think alot of STRESS would come off my shoulder when I do start walking.
Have you ever had a dream about EVERYTHING in the past?
I did. Last night. I had a dream about me walking again (Btw, HATE those dreams, especially back then. I would always have dreams about walking, but i'll get into that more later on in the blog), about the accident, about dancing, all past Boys, friends and Good memories. All in one night. I dont know what happened But everything is just coming back.
Everytime my dad brings me to Bart in the morning. I always have my What IFs, or What I could of done in the past. But I still have to find my reason WHY this is happening to me, I have a guess, but again, there is alot more out there for me.
My parents were talking about my sister car. Her car is completely dead now, and my dad was telling us that he has to give up that car because it is donzo. but now he has to get my sister a new car plus me. Money money, what it can do to you. It can please you and it can kill you. But i really dont mind that my sister gets her car before me, because she travels more than I do at least. I mean, even though I gave up my cotillion just to get a Brand New car which I never got, i mean, this accident was ON ME. and I do have to tell myself that it IS my fault and everything that is happening right now was because of me and no one else. oh well, 8 more days. This week just needs to go by quick again, which im pretty sure it will. After tomorrow. It should be good.
So my walking dreams. Yes, i always have walking dreams, especially ALOT back then. I honestly would cry whenever I wake up because I can't do nothing about it! Its mostly about me walking, and realizing Im not suppose to be walking but I still do? When I had my cast on, i had Dreams that I would walk WITH My cast on, now its just walking regular. Last night was about me, going to this other hospital. And this girl had her shoes on but she had something wrapped on her ankle. And she was telling me, "its your turn next" and I was just thinking how does her foot not look huge when she puts shoes on! ( because on saturday, I tried on my blazers on my right foot, NOT CRACKIN )
Shoes. I usually try on different shoes on my right foot because I wanna see if I can wear them still! VANS, CHUCKS, some of my DUNKS & Jordans are TOTAL FAILED =( i would really have to wait until the swelling goes down, cus it is STILL swollen. but not as much as before. Its more, dark, flat, fat, foot. haha does that make sense? oh well. slippers & boots is what i can wear for now. but its coo! i dont mind! hahaha
Well I think thats it for now... Until then =) seee ya!
Have you ever had a dream about EVERYTHING in the past?
I did. Last night. I had a dream about me walking again (Btw, HATE those dreams, especially back then. I would always have dreams about walking, but i'll get into that more later on in the blog), about the accident, about dancing, all past Boys, friends and Good memories. All in one night. I dont know what happened But everything is just coming back.
Everytime my dad brings me to Bart in the morning. I always have my What IFs, or What I could of done in the past. But I still have to find my reason WHY this is happening to me, I have a guess, but again, there is alot more out there for me.
My parents were talking about my sister car. Her car is completely dead now, and my dad was telling us that he has to give up that car because it is donzo. but now he has to get my sister a new car plus me. Money money, what it can do to you. It can please you and it can kill you. But i really dont mind that my sister gets her car before me, because she travels more than I do at least. I mean, even though I gave up my cotillion just to get a Brand New car which I never got, i mean, this accident was ON ME. and I do have to tell myself that it IS my fault and everything that is happening right now was because of me and no one else. oh well, 8 more days. This week just needs to go by quick again, which im pretty sure it will. After tomorrow. It should be good.
So my walking dreams. Yes, i always have walking dreams, especially ALOT back then. I honestly would cry whenever I wake up because I can't do nothing about it! Its mostly about me walking, and realizing Im not suppose to be walking but I still do? When I had my cast on, i had Dreams that I would walk WITH My cast on, now its just walking regular. Last night was about me, going to this other hospital. And this girl had her shoes on but she had something wrapped on her ankle. And she was telling me, "its your turn next" and I was just thinking how does her foot not look huge when she puts shoes on! ( because on saturday, I tried on my blazers on my right foot, NOT CRACKIN )
Shoes. I usually try on different shoes on my right foot because I wanna see if I can wear them still! VANS, CHUCKS, some of my DUNKS & Jordans are TOTAL FAILED =( i would really have to wait until the swelling goes down, cus it is STILL swollen. but not as much as before. Its more, dark, flat, fat, foot. haha does that make sense? oh well. slippers & boots is what i can wear for now. but its coo! i dont mind! hahaha
Well I think thats it for now... Until then =) seee ya!
Monday, February 16, 2009
2 More Weeks!
YES, tomorrow is tuesday, and its gonna be officially 2 more weeks! This week went by quick. So hopefully this week is gonna go by quick.
Tomorrow: Class
Wednesday: Class
Thursday: Lunch w/ Chris?
Friday: Something
Saturday: My nieces baptism!
YES! but this whole blog for today was because of Tyler! Made me smile from what he said!
tyler: you make the scariest things so beautiful
tyler: lol
tyler: like the scene of the accident
tyler: it has a rainbow
tyler: when you're in the bed
tyler: you're smiling
tyler: you make fun of the two seater
tyler: "j
tyler: makes me happy
Pablo commented me saying that I was strong trouper cus I made this accident into a photoshoot! thanks pablito! =)
& Milo said something too, but i didnt get to save it! but when tyler told me that, i had to think about why I do this to myself. It's because I ALMOST DIED, and I have to make this accident as positive as I get. I like seeing pictures tho. But if I saw pictures of me Crashing, i think I would cry! haha.
BUT Remind myself: CALL the couple who stopped and helped me out.
Other than that, thats all I need to say for now! =)
Thanks for reading, Be a Follower!
Tomorrow: Class
Wednesday: Class
Thursday: Lunch w/ Chris?
Friday: Something
Saturday: My nieces baptism!
YES! but this whole blog for today was because of Tyler! Made me smile from what he said!
tyler: you make the scariest things so beautiful
tyler: lol
tyler: like the scene of the accident
tyler: it has a rainbow
tyler: when you're in the bed
tyler: you're smiling
tyler: you make fun of the two seater
tyler: "j
tyler: makes me happy
Pablo commented me saying that I was strong trouper cus I made this accident into a photoshoot! thanks pablito! =)
& Milo said something too, but i didnt get to save it! but when tyler told me that, i had to think about why I do this to myself. It's because I ALMOST DIED, and I have to make this accident as positive as I get. I like seeing pictures tho. But if I saw pictures of me Crashing, i think I would cry! haha.
BUT Remind myself: CALL the couple who stopped and helped me out.
Other than that, thats all I need to say for now! =)
Thanks for reading, Be a Follower!
Saturday, February 14, 2009
2 1/2 more weeks.
So, i havent really blog. Because i've been actually pretty good right now. =) But lets see, yesterday, went to the mall with Jaz, Jas, Mich & Chad. and basically, Jaz made me crutch around the mall, i was prettty beat tho. I was like WTF! =( I was so tired, all I kept saying was "2 1/2 more weeks!" And all the shoes stores we went too. I was SO depressed. I mean, i bought shoes a couple days ago, BUT STILL! =( i havent wore them yet, and The only shoes i can really wear on BOTH my feet is boots. and i tried on Vans today, didnt work. =\ hella failed. boo.
But yeah, hmm its been kinda acting up cus its hella cold outside for no damn reason. haha but, yeah, other than that! 2 1'2 more weeks! =D yaaaaaay.
Happy Valentines Day!
:) Goes out to all my SINGLE LADIES! yaaay.
But yeah, hmm its been kinda acting up cus its hella cold outside for no damn reason. haha but, yeah, other than that! 2 1'2 more weeks! =D yaaaaaay.
Happy Valentines Day!
:) Goes out to all my SINGLE LADIES! yaaay.
Wednesday, February 11, 2009
Reminiscing ..
Im in class right now, Its pretty cool in this class, But again, There hasn't been a day when i'm not thinking about the accident. I always think about what could of happened, all the What-IF's. A couple days ago, i was watching 60 minutes with my parents about the Flight that crashed in the Hudson River. And he was explaining how the first couple days were hard to sleep, and then it came to the What IF's and what could he have changed. When I heard that, i started crying because I can SO relate to that. & I was eating too! so it was all bad. haha
Then i was talking to my friend, Cjay, and she asking me what happened. And everything came back to me like it was just yesterday. Swear, like, It doesn't feel like months that it happened. it feels like It happened last week. 98 days, you guys wonder what it means right? *98 days states how long i've been going thru this experience. There's probably gonna be more days, but its 98 days i couldn't walk.
Not dancing is really killing me right now. But i know it's 3 more weeks, and im still excited cus i know its gonna go by QUICK! or at least I hope it will! =)
But I feel like it's time to tell you all the real story. or everything that I could remember & this is the first time i'm talking about this, so. here it goes.
I was going home from work, and Yes, the sun was really bright, but I was really tired... Thee last time I texted was Lani, so the people who thought i was texting, I wasnt. and So. I was going home, trying not to fall asleep, I turned on my AC, but after that all i can remember, I heard the rocks, and i was already in the center divider. and then i saw the construction truck not to far away. All i kept saying was Omg. Omg. My brakes weren't working because of the rocks. So right after I hit, I felt and smell the airbags, Omg it was the worse. Like i got slapped in my face but all i was like Fuck my parents are gonna kill me. And I didnt think i was hurt, So i took off my seat belt, and i got out of the car. Thats when I look down, and I saw my ankle out, and then i stood up and thats when I felt my collarbone hurt, I fell in the ditch and my Jordans got muddy =\ pooo. but i kept trying to look for my phone to call my sister. and My parents we're in LA so they were so far away. But i couldnt find my phone, Everyone on the freeway just kept looking at me, I was calling out for help, but no one came, and then finally a guy asked if I was okay and All i told him was to call 911. And then this couple pulls over and told me they saw the accident, and he asked me if could get around but i told him my ankle broke, and then he carried me off the side. and he grabbed my blankets that were in my car. The lady told me to take off my shoe because my foot was swelling. All i kept saying to the guy was, Can you call my sister, And thats when the ambulance came. I was scared, but I had to be calm. There was about 8 guys helping me, and they were all newbies going to a convention So i was lucky. and right when they were strapping me in, I saw a really good friend of mine, and he told me my sister called him and I just remember crying to him while i was on the strap board. Then they took me off the Fairfield.
The ambulance boys were soooo nice, I just saw them recently too. But anyways, they took me to the Fairfield hospital, and all my family were their waiting for me, the first people i saw were my brother and sister outside the door. And i was just holding my sisters hand and she was like it's gonna be okay (omg, im like hella crying in class right now) So they brought me the ER. and i was there for awhile. I saw my cousins one by one. but then, i was in pain, and i was cold. And thats when they told me I had to be transfer to UC Davis because my surgery was to complicated, Thats when I talk to my parents on the phone, and I dont think i'll ever forget the phone call from my mom. I swear she sounded like someone died plus worried times a billion. (My dad told me he got pulled over because he was speeding, but the police let them go) So while they were bringing me to Sac, my sister was hella choppin it up with the Ricky, one of the ambulance guys -____-, that little hoe. hahaha jk jaz. And then i was in the ER for so long, i was in the hallway, and I saw at least 2 people die. it was crazy, I coudlnt really sleep either, so much commotion, Then I saw ryan, and he was helping me cus i kept throwing up, and i remember him wiping my sweat and when I was doing my x'rays its was crazzy. Thanks again ry. Then I finally see my dad, his eyes were so red. I dont know if he was just tired from driving all day or crying? or maybe both. And then i saw my mom. and thats when the crying started happening I just felt so bad, i cant image what they had to go thru. knowing their child was just in a car accident in the hospital! yanno. my parents are strong for that one <3. But this white duude kept looking at us and i was like BOO, WTF. LOOK AT SOMEONE ELSE. But after a couple of hours or waiting, I finally get a room, and then I try to go to sleep, but i couldnt. The bed was more comfortable tho! hahah and then i remember waking up at 5am. telling me their gonna put me to sleep because they had to shift my foot back. They put the mask on and i was hella shaking. But after that, i dont remember anything of course. But I remember was my pillow was on the floor, and my nurse said I kept moving cus I guess my body was trying to fight with them?! hahaha WEIRD. But when i woke up, i had the mask on, and the things they put thru your nose IT WAS SOO COOOL! hahaha. but then, i couldnt find my family because i thought my dad was gonna be in there, but they kicked him out and i Woke up with a cast on. and it was pretty heavy but hella warm! My uncle and Auntie came in, and they started crying, and i NEVER seen my uncle cry. So that was a first.
Then the days go by, and im finally in a room room. My uncle hooks it up and gives me, my own room =) and then people came to visit. my bestfriends were there. Best feeling ever, Jeanie & Chris, i love you guys to DEATH! ugh. So the next day goes by, i get hella comments, messages, IMs, texts asking if I was okay. And I find out Desi told everyone cus he saw me on the scene and Dom came down from hayward to sac and Jeanie came from san pablo. Then more visitors. The surgery day came. Went to sleep at 9, didnt wake up til 5 for a good 5 minutes and then woke up again the next day around 5. But man, all i had to eat was CLEAR food. and it was so nasty, thats how I lost weight. But yeahhh, thats all I can remember. Theres more but not really important.
The Main people i wanna thank tho is. My family, Jeanie, Dom, Tina, Arielle, Marc, Patty. Thank you for being there from the beginning. I LOVE YOU GUYS =) and thats it for now.
Then i was talking to my friend, Cjay, and she asking me what happened. And everything came back to me like it was just yesterday. Swear, like, It doesn't feel like months that it happened. it feels like It happened last week. 98 days, you guys wonder what it means right? *98 days states how long i've been going thru this experience. There's probably gonna be more days, but its 98 days i couldn't walk.
Not dancing is really killing me right now. But i know it's 3 more weeks, and im still excited cus i know its gonna go by QUICK! or at least I hope it will! =)
But I feel like it's time to tell you all the real story. or everything that I could remember & this is the first time i'm talking about this, so. here it goes.
I was going home from work, and Yes, the sun was really bright, but I was really tired... Thee last time I texted was Lani, so the people who thought i was texting, I wasnt. and So. I was going home, trying not to fall asleep, I turned on my AC, but after that all i can remember, I heard the rocks, and i was already in the center divider. and then i saw the construction truck not to far away. All i kept saying was Omg. Omg. My brakes weren't working because of the rocks. So right after I hit, I felt and smell the airbags, Omg it was the worse. Like i got slapped in my face but all i was like Fuck my parents are gonna kill me. And I didnt think i was hurt, So i took off my seat belt, and i got out of the car. Thats when I look down, and I saw my ankle out, and then i stood up and thats when I felt my collarbone hurt, I fell in the ditch and my Jordans got muddy =\ pooo. but i kept trying to look for my phone to call my sister. and My parents we're in LA so they were so far away. But i couldnt find my phone, Everyone on the freeway just kept looking at me, I was calling out for help, but no one came, and then finally a guy asked if I was okay and All i told him was to call 911. And then this couple pulls over and told me they saw the accident, and he asked me if could get around but i told him my ankle broke, and then he carried me off the side. and he grabbed my blankets that were in my car. The lady told me to take off my shoe because my foot was swelling. All i kept saying to the guy was, Can you call my sister, And thats when the ambulance came. I was scared, but I had to be calm. There was about 8 guys helping me, and they were all newbies going to a convention So i was lucky. and right when they were strapping me in, I saw a really good friend of mine, and he told me my sister called him and I just remember crying to him while i was on the strap board. Then they took me off the Fairfield.
The ambulance boys were soooo nice, I just saw them recently too. But anyways, they took me to the Fairfield hospital, and all my family were their waiting for me, the first people i saw were my brother and sister outside the door. And i was just holding my sisters hand and she was like it's gonna be okay (omg, im like hella crying in class right now) So they brought me the ER. and i was there for awhile. I saw my cousins one by one. but then, i was in pain, and i was cold. And thats when they told me I had to be transfer to UC Davis because my surgery was to complicated, Thats when I talk to my parents on the phone, and I dont think i'll ever forget the phone call from my mom. I swear she sounded like someone died plus worried times a billion. (My dad told me he got pulled over because he was speeding, but the police let them go) So while they were bringing me to Sac, my sister was hella choppin it up with the Ricky, one of the ambulance guys -____-, that little hoe. hahaha jk jaz. And then i was in the ER for so long, i was in the hallway, and I saw at least 2 people die. it was crazy, I coudlnt really sleep either, so much commotion, Then I saw ryan, and he was helping me cus i kept throwing up, and i remember him wiping my sweat and when I was doing my x'rays its was crazzy. Thanks again ry. Then I finally see my dad, his eyes were so red. I dont know if he was just tired from driving all day or crying? or maybe both. And then i saw my mom. and thats when the crying started happening I just felt so bad, i cant image what they had to go thru. knowing their child was just in a car accident in the hospital! yanno. my parents are strong for that one <3. But this white duude kept looking at us and i was like BOO, WTF. LOOK AT SOMEONE ELSE. But after a couple of hours or waiting, I finally get a room, and then I try to go to sleep, but i couldnt. The bed was more comfortable tho! hahah and then i remember waking up at 5am. telling me their gonna put me to sleep because they had to shift my foot back. They put the mask on and i was hella shaking. But after that, i dont remember anything of course. But I remember was my pillow was on the floor, and my nurse said I kept moving cus I guess my body was trying to fight with them?! hahaha WEIRD. But when i woke up, i had the mask on, and the things they put thru your nose IT WAS SOO COOOL! hahaha. but then, i couldnt find my family because i thought my dad was gonna be in there, but they kicked him out and i Woke up with a cast on. and it was pretty heavy but hella warm! My uncle and Auntie came in, and they started crying, and i NEVER seen my uncle cry. So that was a first.
Then the days go by, and im finally in a room room. My uncle hooks it up and gives me, my own room =) and then people came to visit. my bestfriends were there. Best feeling ever, Jeanie & Chris, i love you guys to DEATH! ugh. So the next day goes by, i get hella comments, messages, IMs, texts asking if I was okay. And I find out Desi told everyone cus he saw me on the scene and Dom came down from hayward to sac and Jeanie came from san pablo. Then more visitors. The surgery day came. Went to sleep at 9, didnt wake up til 5 for a good 5 minutes and then woke up again the next day around 5. But man, all i had to eat was CLEAR food. and it was so nasty, thats how I lost weight. But yeahhh, thats all I can remember. Theres more but not really important.
The Main people i wanna thank tho is. My family, Jeanie, Dom, Tina, Arielle, Marc, Patty. Thank you for being there from the beginning. I LOVE YOU GUYS =) and thats it for now.
Tuesday, February 10, 2009
3 More weeks counting.
Well this is my first blog, and i just want to start it off with the countdown of my Car accident.
*5 screws, 2 plates.
Well, you guys are wondering why, I keep taking pictures of this. It's my way to let it out, since my family feels like I need to get it out in the open so I dont keep "hurting inside" IDK. I had a really bad morning and this news just made everything go away. My blood is going thru correctly and my doctors said that my foot doesn't even look like I got into a car accident ( but i think he lied cus it's still dark and emo) haha but, yeah =) super excited, March 3, get that date ready ladies and gentlemen!
Honestly, it's not easy being like this, I try to be strong for my family. I cry when I feel like i just want to give up on everything. But when I get the comments, messages, IMs, about asking me how i'm okay, I just have to remember that I could of been 6 feet under the ground. but instead, i'm here, with you! writing in this blog. This accident tells me I'm gonna be okay in life. But i'll write more later.
thanks for the prayers again <3 love you all.
-Jemma
if many of you that dont know. I got into a a car accident on November 21, 2008. I went through a center divider and hit a construction truck, Broke my collarbone & my ankle. and now months has past, and 3 more weeks until i can start walking =). It's been tough, but i'm STILL getting through it. Thanks again! <3
*5 screws, 2 plates.
Well, you guys are wondering why, I keep taking pictures of this. It's my way to let it out, since my family feels like I need to get it out in the open so I dont keep "hurting inside" IDK. I had a really bad morning and this news just made everything go away. My blood is going thru correctly and my doctors said that my foot doesn't even look like I got into a car accident ( but i think he lied cus it's still dark and emo) haha but, yeah =) super excited, March 3, get that date ready ladies and gentlemen!
Honestly, it's not easy being like this, I try to be strong for my family. I cry when I feel like i just want to give up on everything. But when I get the comments, messages, IMs, about asking me how i'm okay, I just have to remember that I could of been 6 feet under the ground. but instead, i'm here, with you! writing in this blog. This accident tells me I'm gonna be okay in life. But i'll write more later.
thanks for the prayers again <3 love you all.
-Jemma
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